life of a day

For a contest. ^///^

sheets of opaque rain

flow from clouds of gray

smudging colors of our lives

like watercolor paints

 

this cold concrete jungle

laden with lucid dreams

hidden among the monsters

with wicked fangs that gleam

 

no body is safe

not a soul to believe

how can we move forward

with no room to breathe

 

halos of silver

as the morning light breaks

the world does its dance

as night turns to day

 

we cannot just say

what it is that were feelin

its too little too late

dont know what to believe in

 

jack-o-lantern-esque smiles

giving way to false hope

as the rains pulse should falter

as the sun starts to cope

 

amaranthine contusions

mottle fair skies

while the sun takes its leave

and clouds whisper goodbye

 

as the waxing moon pales

and the stars shed their light

as the world does its dance

and day turns to night

Author's Note

The lack of puntuation is intended. Chinese Take-Out form, originally created by UfoAuthor. ^-^
Chinese Take-Out form: a free-verse form, dedicated to a contrast of light and dark ideas that create a story.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

OK, sorry this is soooo late! I really, really, loved this poem and thank you so much for entering it in the contest. BTW, you were the only one that actually followed all the rules (you gave a description with your submission). However it was open voting. But, you were a winner!!!

Congratulations! :o)

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Thanks, Ufi!! O^_^O I'm glad you liked it, regardless!

[Castonovia]

Very beautiful especially the vibrant descriptions, I can see the images you portray clearly and think the Chinese Take Out form is really interesting:)

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

^///^ Thank you!! UfoAuthor created the form, cuz he is a word wizard!! :D Thank you for your review!!

[Castonovia]

No prob ;)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I hadn't realized you knew all about Chinese Take Out Poetry when I responded! You have certainly done a fine job of it. I like your definition and how you demonstrate it!

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Lol thank you for the review! I thought yours was good! ^-^

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thanks! It will be interesting to see what people come up with. :)

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Yeah! I bet Ufi is excited about how popular this is. ^-^

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

I am soooo smiling now... for all the obvious reasons. Ladies! :o)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Hey! It's a Chinese Take Out party!

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Lol YES!! *noms on some veggie lo mein* :D

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

; )

[kublakhan27]

This is gorgeous :)

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

^///^ Fanks for the review!

[kublakhan27]

You're very welcome :)