Betrayed

 

Betrayed

 

Among the faithless you fell
betraying your once loyal love
for me,with lies and broken dreams

Among the faithless you fled
carefree, chasing and cheating
around town;late nights

Among the faithless you frolicked
foolishly with the faithless flock
for a frenzied fun-filled time.

Among the faithless you failed.
breaking our vows
A breached fidelity, of our love.

Among the faithless you floundered
in a mire of muddy muck
among the faithless,
you can forever stay.

I choose to be among the faithful
no longer to be betrayed for
there's something to be said
about being true to the one you love!

Reviews

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Fran-

"I choose to be among the faithful
no longer to be betrayed for
there's something to be said
about being true to the one you love!"

A very good point! Some people seem to think that "two wrongs make a right," but in practice this is very just but not very beneficial most of the time. There is a strong temptation to cheat to try to put to an end the cheating of another, and this probably does work some of the time. But, by cheating, you not only break your own commitment, you also will probably create a whole host of new problems. Instead of trust issues going one way, you open your relationship to trust issues in both directions. You have twice as much to argue about as well.

I really enjoyed this poem. It was nice to see something out of you in a different format than a sonnet, although I really like sonnets particularly.

Keep up the good work!

-Gabe

[.]

"Among the faithless you floundered
in a mire of muddy muck
among the faithless,
you can forever stay."

{WoW---i love this--Shakespeare like...}
{...i really love the form and style-great poetry !!!}

james:-)

[unspokenguilt]

Greatly written...I love your use of alliteration! Great write, great flow too!

Thanks for entering my contest, best wishes!
:) ear

[Mr. Lopez]

Your poem is written with great conviction . I admire the way that you stand faithful even in the end. You have done this so well without sounding bitter or angry. That ,I think, is very hard to do with a subject like this. The power punch comes in the form of the last stanza.

I choose to be among the faithful
no longer to be betrayed for
there's something to be said
about being true to the one you love!

These are great lines. Very powerful write.

[Andrea A. Wentz]

Very powerful, inspiring piece Fran! Not too accusatory, but blunt and to the point. The last paragraph saying dispite all this, you will not drag me down, I will not mourn for you, I will move on for I am strong. Wonderful piece Fran! :D

[Cassandra]

I love all the F words and I feel the anger and hurt through them.. I love that you didn't use the most socially powerful F word. You chose the more morally powerful .. faithful .. floudered.. fidelity. I really enjoyed this.

[Brenda Sue]

Wonderfully written and very wise words. Great write.