Shadows of Dark Despair

Shadows of Dark Despair

 

Shadows of dark despair block out my light
Soul in vague darkness,bad spirits take flight

So many times,my courage fades away
becoming victim ~ demon's evil prey
and longer than ever,storms always last
each heavy raindrop~ a sullen dull splash

Dark depths take control,this torture prevails
Intense sadness survives, happiness fails
Days turn to months,where tears laden my eyes
once they shined bright as the sun in blue skies

The pale face of death appears in my mind
Longer than Always is infinite time
My soul in vague darkness~ evil takes flight
Shadows of dark despair, blocking out light

Reviews

[zer0]

This is great work.

The rhythm is perfect, a consistent ten syllable per line meter I think. This in conjunction with the consistent rhyme pattern, and the repetition of a similar couplet to open and close the poem, gives the work a nice symmetry and unity, tying it all together beautifully.

The language use is eloquent, descriptive and lavish. The imagery is vivid and compelling and the tone is refreshingly dark and brooding.

In fact I can't really fault this piece.

It was a pleasure to read. I hope to read more of your work soon.

[.......]

Awesome Fran, I really enjoyed this write.
Dark and wonderful.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your winning poem.

[Bamber AKA. AM-HAM]

I really like it. It made me shiver, and the font is a good touch.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Very good. I loved that one too


So many times,my courage fades away
becoming victim ~ demon's evil prey
and longer than ever,storms always last
each heavy raindrop~ a sullen dull splash

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

Reading this made me feel like I was between a rock and a hard place.

[Carole]

The picture of depression. Despair, courage fading, death and darkness...I have been there, done that, and worn this t-shirt more times than I would like to admit. Familiar feelings for so many--I rarely battle with it any more, as I have found that guarding my mind from destructive thoughts has made a huge impact to staying out of this pit, but for some people it is completely chemical...Very nicely done and the imagery is perfect.

[Bear]

remorse abounds within this piece~ sure hope you're not as low and blue as this poem describes and reflects! If so, putting the words upon the page helped; it was the writing of the words that helped get me out of my blue times of the past. The writing and hearts of friends pulling me to the surface once again.

Good write, thanks for sharing and reminding me of how good my life is these days.
Bear

[Phil Sanders]

Powerful.. emotive and beautifully written ...