Women sacrifice their bodies just to make a world that doesn’t give a crap about them happy. When they have nothing left to offer the world, It will turn its back on them, then pain will begin.
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this is a complex poem though it is simply written. You are very correct about how the world see many women. I don't want to be remember for my beauty. I want to be remember for my creativity, my poems, my love, my kindness, my uniqueness, my sarcastic spunky fiery side. Thank you for writing this poem. It was wonderfully done.
Unfortunately the vast majority of us live in patriarchal societies where people, especially women, are objectified, but as we're all defined by our functional purpose, this is partially true for both genders. I agree in principle with the subject matter, but would argue that most find it necessary to wear a mask of some description. If we were all permitted to be proud of our selves for who we are then the corporations couldn't sell us all those pointless objects that we are told we 'need' to feel and be whole! I suppose that as long as we are reliant on money to live and power, possessions and status to feel worthy then this kind of exploitation will always happen. On a brighter not I think it's worth remembering that for all the world is far from perfect, our species has developed in some capacities and improved the basics for a lot of people...it's just a shame that the powers that be still rely on coersion and slavery to meet the majority of their worldly aims, (ie, the lower classes do the working and fighting and the political class, corporations and aristocracy plunder the benefits!!!)
I think the poem itself works as is written concisely and economically. It makes its valid point well, in its somewhat abstract sense. I was wondering though was 'applauds' supposed to be 'applause'- or was that intentional? Not certain why the sentence and the word PAIN were crossed out, but I decided it pertained to the masking of pain by shedding true colours.
I liked poetry like this- anything that challenges the status quo and petty perceptions is my thing actually, keep on, keeping on! Take care, spence
The metaphor as a poem (or the other way around) works well here. Striking through a couple of phrases is effective (one referencing shedding of skin, the other pain)... don't know how the intensity would work without that particular effect. The message is clear with no distracting excursions into flowerly phrases/ideas. Nice work.
this is a complex poem though it is simply written. You are very correct about how the world see many women. I don't want to be remember for my beauty. I want to be remember for my creativity, my poems, my love, my kindness, my uniqueness, my sarcastic spunky fiery side. Thank you for writing this poem. It was wonderfully done.
My style of writing poetry is a little different. My poems mostly inspired by photography, and music. A picture is worth a thousand words and I love find the words within the photo.
Frantzou Fleur.. more..
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