I breathe Helpless

I breathe Helpless

A Poem by SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez
"

This is my description of struggles with asthma, and other problems with my lungs. I feel pain deep within.

"


For many years I have dealt with this pain in my chest.

Many years overwhelmed by the lack of rest.

 

Years overwhelmed I slowly die.

Overwhelmed I’m living in this worldly lie.

 

I’m living and still searching for healing.

Living and searching for some new feeling.

 

And searching lost tired and confused.

Searching lost within all and I now feel used.

 

Lost within pain everyday I am.

Within pain I live for my name is San.

 

Pain I have to overcome one day.

I have to move forward, faith in God I pray.

 

Have to reach for life for every breath is a tease.

To reach a cure before one day, I am blown away with the breeze. 


-San 2010 (Oct)


© 2014 SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez



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Author's Note

SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez
ignore grammar problems, what do you think of the dialogue.

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Featured Review

As a child I suffered terribly asthma, and it is crippling in every area of your life,you just want the pain and lack of breath to leave you, you feel half dead, no energy, and no zest for life.......you have caught that in your words perfectly, I spent so much time doing little to nothing, and it is one of the most crippling feelings.
I hope by now your situation has eased.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I see more than asthma Involved in this poem.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez

3 Years Ago

Indeed Gedalya. I saw it that way when I wrote it but I like to let the reader interpret and relate .. read more
I loved the imagery and how the reader can truly feel your struggle. This would be good to help others with asthma.

You say to ignore grammar problems, but this one is a pet peeve of mine. Ignore if you wish. You should not start a sentence with "And". That is all ^^

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew S. Loveland

4 Years Ago

Sorry, but I have to chip in on this one also as it is a pet hate of mine when people are admonished.. read more
SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez

4 Years Ago

Thank you Andrew. Well said! :)
BenightedWhispers

2 Years Ago

Good points all. I feel more societal with Conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence. It just thro.. read more
Being an Asthmatic this poem really touches base with me, but there is also an emotionally distressed feel to it leaving me to ponder certain events that have been revitalized in my memory. This leaves me to believe that the pain you speak of could be emotional, mental, as well as physical. Masterpiece none the less. Bravo

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I like how you have choosen to be concise.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like that, though you say describe the pain in the story notes, the poem itself does not name the pain, so that the reader can interpret as he likes, and thus he is able to put his own pain into it. Makes it universal. Nicely done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good depiction of the powerlessness one can feel with asthma, as if your body has betrayed you by making the expression "as natural as breathing" unnatural, a struggle, a series of gasping, and a lifetime of grasping..... for normalcy.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very nice piece. Glad I got to read it

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez

5 Years Ago

Thank you.
as too life is nothing but a daming pain.
The world feels no love in all of this I myslef have trouble with breathing...
this is a very well

Posted 6 Years Ago


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Kia
Very well described...goes to show that poetry is an outlet for any problems we may have or for inspiration for others....good job

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i think that you can sum it up with the last two sentence but the rest do help add to it...

Posted 6 Years Ago



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1082 Views
22 Reviews
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Added on October 11, 2010
Last Updated on February 12, 2014
Tags: pain, breath, tired, restless, asthma, sick, angry, frustrated, helpless

Author

SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez
SANZEi a.k.a. Santos Lopez

Hollywood, FL



About
Rhyming is what I love to do when I need to relax and or calm down... Rhyming is what makes me want to continue writing... I love to play with the words it is almost as if putting a painting together... more..

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