DONT CARE CONDITIONS

                              

                                  

                                        He Doesn't  Want To Care

Look, laugh, or queerly stare,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

In mocks, his existence, you may tear,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

Gifts of indifference here and there,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

Your grandiose behaviors; hard to bear,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

His agony,your happiness,  you don't share,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

Make him accept humble pies everywhere,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

His withstanding the winds, may become a dare,

The poor one says, he doesn't want to care.

Reviews

[Avanthika]

good flow, a small suggestion, i personally feel if you change that one sentence into "The poor one says i dont care" it will be much better, this is just my personal suggestion, even am not much good with the words, so its up to you.

[Dayran]

He's certainly setting himself to find out for himself ... isn't he?

[Mayank]

Neither poor looks up, neither rich look down, in the end nobody cares. All in all, it was insightful read and diction is used very well. There are very few who repeat same lines again and again however, those who do, make verses sound wonderful.

[JJHII]

I usually don't really care for repeating the same line in the poem or at least i try not to do it. but this fits well and I like it.

[John Anderson]

Great diction and flow help to make this an excellent poem. Your delivery was perfect!

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanks John :-)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

insightful and good choice of words.
i liked it!
:)

[Inda]

This indifference speaks volumes. A loss of hope and will, excellent write!