Imagined Loved

She has a smile on her face,
Trying to hide the shame,
The disgrace.
He has a hold around her neck,
But she's trying to forget.
What he says,
what he does,
he tries to pacify with words of love.
No one can save you,
no one understands what's true.
Fear is your saviour,
Love was never there.

Author's Note

My first take at writing poetry.

Reviews

[laRagazza]

It's pretty good, it gets a very emotional point across without being overly dramatic, which is a trait I always admire in poetry. My only complaint is the shift in point of view near the end, with the line 'no one understands what's true'. What I took this to mean is the girl saying 'no one sees what are relationship really is' which, in her mind, is a good relationship. In this sense, 'what's true' in the girl's mind would really be false (she thinks her boyfriend loves her but she's really in an abusive relationship.) If that's what you meant by that line, make it clear that those are her thoughts, not the narrators'.

I really love the next line after that, though, 'fear is your savior'. It conveys the point that she does feel some happiness and security(the connotation of the word 'savior'), but it's a twisted kind that is founded on fear, not love.