Heart Song

Where am I to go now
that this thaw has allowed
an ember to stir into a flame?
And still here I am left
all alone and bereft
without any idea at all how to love,
or be loved,
or if I want any of all the above

So why is it now
that I want to somehow
overthrow all that has brought me some peace?
Then again I am sure
there will soon come a cure
and this fleeting desire will unwillingly cease,
or at least,
I'm sure it will slowly begin to decrease

So I'll just wait it out
and hold on to my doubt
that this flame will turn into a fire
to lead me down a road
where resolve will erode
though the journey can only end with me debased,
or disgraced,
and all these years I've worked on myself erased

Oh, how I still fear it all
losing my heart to any fall
especially from this high wall
I have built deep inside of me
I used to feel so superior
now I only feel so much wearier
my motives seem so ulterior
now that my fears all lay exposed

And so now here we are
you can see I bear scars
but I suppose that everyone does
when I'm finally healed
and my cracks are all sealed
perhaps that is when I'll be ready to see
that I can
tear down these walls and let somebody in
with me

Author's Note

The product of a moment of weakness and the song "In an Aeroplane Over the Sea" stuck in my head

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks so much for entering this wonderful poem into my greatest fear competition, good luck
i especially love the last verse. very moving

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you very much 🙂

[Zugzwang]

Well, I dont know the song but I like the poem.
I can relate to the sentiment. Here's wishing you many more moments of weakness.

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you. Those moments do make me monumentally uncomfortable but they also provide some worthy insight at times. And they always pass ☺

[Zugzwang]

Hahahaha.
Yoou are the Ice Queen.
Stay frosty, as they say.
Z.

[Gaia Octavia]

Can't say that's the first time I've been called that. But I like to think of myself as stone; ice is easily melted heh

[Zugzwang]

MMMwahahahaha.
Stone cold, then.

[wordman]

a frozen heart ,waiting on a ember to cause a flame in my heart.to allow love to enter once again
but not certain if you even want or need love,not sure of your feelings or new found emotions.
great write

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you 😊

[wordman]

my pleasure !