Bursting Light on Smouldering Horizons

Bursting Light on Smouldering Horizons

A Poem by Gary H
"

This is a joint piece by Natalie C and myself.

"
Nats and I had poems and a picture we thought we would join together......




Here's the original poems -

Bursting Light
A Poem by Gary H


Smouldering Horizons
A Poem by Natalie C

© 2008 Gary H



Author's Note

Gary H
would appreciate any views on whether you feel the project has worked. many thanks for reading.

My Review

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Featured Review

THIS IS WHAT I PUT ON NAT'S VERSION: For some reason my eye keeps going back to "...sad raindrops explode on the pavement" as I can just see them...in gigantic close up...as if i am right down there on the pavement and they are going off like grenades around me. Also "Cries of the night birds fill the darkened hue" I can hear...again i don't know why those two lines do the business, but they do for me. You've pulled off another collaboration where I can't work out which line is whose. And, I repeat, I like the way up at the top that the atmosphere is used by love to overcome distance. Cracking stuff. Well done! And the poem made me recall Melt.


Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

a million thumbs up ! :> One of my favourites as of now!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's like I've said before; a poem written by one poet, it's all in depends, but any poems written by two or more poets, they always come out really good or better. So, this writing is more than really good; It's great and I enjoyed it very much so...

Keep on working together and you'll be surprise how things will turn out...

And I'll be rooting for you two...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ohhh i see what you mean now!! I really appreciate what you two have done here. My experience with any kind of collaborative endeavor is extremely limited, but i appreciate it when it works out for others :)

what i love is... the similarity in structure and inspiration for both the pieces.. and yet the Natalie's version is soft and feminine, whereas your (gary's) version has more of the masculine stance. Which, naturally, would be sort of expected, but what I'm saying is that it's done very well. :)

lovely lovely. I usually find it hard to get into the structure and rhyming of these poems, finding them too cliche and forced. But neither of these pieces make me feel that way. Expertly wrought :)

hugs



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think the collaborative endeavor was exquisitely and masterfully penned by both of you.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

THIS IS WHAT I PUT ON NAT'S VERSION: For some reason my eye keeps going back to "...sad raindrops explode on the pavement" as I can just see them...in gigantic close up...as if i am right down there on the pavement and they are going off like grenades around me. Also "Cries of the night birds fill the darkened hue" I can hear...again i don't know why those two lines do the business, but they do for me. You've pulled off another collaboration where I can't work out which line is whose. And, I repeat, I like the way up at the top that the atmosphere is used by love to overcome distance. Cracking stuff. Well done! And the poem made me recall Melt.


Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 18, 2008
Last Updated on February 18, 2008

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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