Buttercup

I wrote this for my dearest and was too embarrassed to send it to her. Instead I entered the poem into a competition........see below (in the note for reviewers what was said).

Melting into the luscious grass,
Cool air breezing lightly,
Refreshing senses.
Turning to say tender words,
Realising you are not there,
Instead alive in my thoughts,
I say them anyway,
To a buttercup,
All alone.
One flower,
A wish for hope,
Blowing a kiss
Up to the fluffy white clouds
Travelling the skies,
Believing in my heart
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you.

Author's Note

'Before going any further, Gary, let me make one thing clear.....your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision'......Now send some money and see your poem transform into a 'classic, coffee-table quality hardbound volume - printed in two colours on fine-milled paper specifically selected to last for generations'. At this point I laughed rather a lot but thought everyone here should be aware at how easy it is to get taken in by offers that paint you as a wonderful writer!

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

Faint heart never won fair lady She would have truly appreciated your words
Every one who enters these contests is a winner Most of us have been taken at some time
I know I certainly was.You are a wiser man now and realise if you post in the cafe you will get an honest feedback from those who have no axe to grind

A pleasant write to read ,well chosen words in poetic prose but I am certain she would have found much more to praise than I do

[Laura E. Aranda]

Gary, I can't do a sestina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Laura E. Aranda]

I got the same letter for a poem of mine...and I thought that I was special...hmmmm

[melanie j bean]

it is a very nice poem!

[JohnL]

Send It!
Hello Gary,
I've had a look through this and your other work and chose to review this one. It rather twists the old command, beloved of florists, to "Say it with flowers". In your case it is "Say it to flowers!" There is a nice flow to this piece, not always or easily achieved with free verse, but in this case, very successfully done.
There is little I can suggest that would improve this poem, but because the idea is to offer constructive and helpful comment, may I make a seemingly insignificant, possibly even pedantic point and suggest that the comma following 'heart' (L.15) should move up to 'skies' (L.14). It is the kiss and the clouds that travel the skies, and you that 'believes in your heart'. The comma clarifies this. Dear me, I feel pathetic offering this, but I am trying to act within the ethos of the site and not just say 'lovely' to everything.
On a general note, there is an underlying use of colour in your writing, and some lovely (there I go!) sunsets, graphics and avatars. Colour and poetry seem to work so well together, don't they? You may enjoy my poem 'Sound and Light', which seeks to blend sound, colour, temperature and words into one. I have not learned as yet to insert pictures into the main text, which you do so very effectively,
Kind regards from John.

[Oz]

Ha! You should've given her the poem my friend. Ladies love the poet.

The poem is sweet and tender, and I know that's what you wanted to portray. It's different from some of the rest of your writing in that it doesn't go very deep. That's not necessary here though. You have a knack for creating beautiful imagery in your poetry and I think that shows up well here too.

I'm glad you value the opinions of those on the Writer's Cafe as a third party with no special interests. One's peers can be truly enlightening.

Wonderful poem.

-Oz

[jen -- JG]

Just knowing YOU were the one who inspired such tender words of love, would thrill the heart of any lover.
This is a beautiful heartfelt piece and could be read to mean a lost love, or a love who has passed on.

Either way, it is something that should be offered to the one you love.

Well done.

Jen-JG

[Clockwork]

Beautiful piece, it is good. Very sweet and honest.

[Gandré]

-so sweet so innocent! It is love lived in spirits in wanting in mutual loyality, you wrote convincingly aobut this love. Loved it!

[Destiny]

I like the innocence and honesty of this piece. Very refreshing. Btw I hate those publication offers. Anyhoo, thanx for writing!
♥Destiny♥

[Nick Erickson]

The picture would have made a lovely cover for the book...
Well done, the words flowed effortlessly down the screen, the imagery reminding me of a field I once saw in Washington.
Again, well done.