Psychosis of Esmerelda

Psychosis of Esmerelda

A Poem by Gary H
"

Many thanks to Edgar Allan Poe and Natalie C, without whom this would not have appeared.

"
Esmerelda


Rationality transmutes to invisible,
Periods of pertinacity emerge from my disposition,
Reminiscence of sensations
I recourse with retinence to deny desire,
Living in corrective exactitude
I am the embodiment of elevated endurance,
Circumspection designing nuances of a consummate indication
Observing my vogue of a deviant predicament.


Prospection discriminates through light,
Presurmising recognition of an untrodden guise,
Encountering this inexpressible desperation,
Reacting in an instant I undertake to confide,
Pressing forwards on indifferent sharpened engrave,
To succour a disclosure of concealed assertions.


Disenchantments are expurgated, flushed afar
Whilst endeavouring the discover of symmetry,
Internal in fissures of capricious existence,
Plundering transcendental until no resistance
Retaining an everlasting gaze,
Attentive to liquidity flowing,
Fulfilling a pulsation of enduring vitality.


Scarlet rust, viscous fluid,
No occasion did I solicit my retrospections
That this prevelance would hitherto propound
A power within this eternally severed sufferance,
Impudently persuing this sombre passage
Penetrating into a cosmos so precarious.


Prohibited sympathiser, so silent,
Charmer of my affections,
You grip and possess me.
Ligature binded with longing, you have decieved me,
Impetuous for your enravishment,
Now relinqished in the unilluminated
Only visible as the emanation of a breathing immolation
Exposed, alone, cloaked forever in captivated crimson.


© 2008 Gary H



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I have a complete volume of Poe, but am yet to reach the poetry because the stories are slowing me down; I can't handle more than about two a day, because his style sometimes irritates me. I bought it FOR the poetry though, so I really should hurry up...and it was because lots of reviews on the Cafe kept referring to him, comparing the work of others to it.
So I can't yet comment on how 'Poe-esque' I felt this to be.

Good flaunting of an extensive vocabulary; the resonance of all these words and phrases was pretty cool."Endeavour[ing]" is used in the third and fourth stanza - if not deliberate, I suggest finding an alternative for one of them; the repetition stands out because so much effort has gone into creating a piece consisting of lesser-known words.

Overall, good work.
Cheers for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I do have quite a good vocabulary but I don't really get this as an exercise in communication which is surely always the point. I know that sometimes we use figures of speach to convey points and may have to make the reader work hard but every word must be there for a purpose. It would be interesting to see this rewritten in simpler language. Sorry to be negative!
Cheers, Alan

Posted 1 Year Ago


A wide range of vocabulary used. Very thought provoking and beautiful but some may struggle with understanding some of the larger words as i myself did. Still a lovely piece of writing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Lovely and complex ~

Spell checked:

Rationality transmutes to invisible,
Periods of pertinacity emerge from my disposition,
Reminiscence of sensations
I recourse with reticence to deny desire,
Living in corrective exactitude
I am the embodiment of elevated endurance,
Circumspection designing nuances of a consummate indication
Observing my vogue of a deviant predicament.


Prospection discriminates through light,
Presurmising recognition of an untrodden guise,
Encountering this inexpressible desperation,
Reacting in an instant I undertake to confide,
Pressing forwards on indifferent sharpened engrave,
To succour a disclosure of concealed assertions.


Disenchantments are expurgated, flushed afar
Whilst endeavouring the discover of symmetry,
Internal in fissures of capricious existence,
Plundering transcendental until no resistance
Retaining an everlasting gaze,
Attentive to liquidity flowing,
Fulfilling a pulsation of enduring vitality.


Scarlet rust, viscous fluid,
No occasion did I solicit my retrospections
That this prevalence would hitherto propound
A power within this eternally severed sufferance,
Impudently perusing this sombre passage
Penetrating into a cosmos so precarious.


Prohibited sympathiser, so silent,
Charmer of my affections,
You grip and possess me.
Ligature binded with longing, you have deceived me,
Impetuous for your enravishment,
Now relinquished in the unilluminated
Only visible as the emanation of a breathing immolation
Exposed, alone, cloaked forever in captivated crimson.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your style. It has a touch of class and elegance that is exceeded only by your use of imagery through texture. I must admit, I did feel a hint of suspense at "Retaining an everlasting gaze,". To me, I feel as if the stare isn't really into someone's eyes and more of staring at the person themselves to get a glimpse of their soul. Great poem!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I hardly think there is a monosyllabic word in there! it is very ellaborate and intense, a nice style you have here! it is very provocative in that you can feel the strong emotions in it... and hardly skim through without feeling drawn in- nicely done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dont mean to be so critical gary but this is to complicated,like an obstical course.
could it be that it is on a level i am over looking? by reading the reviews that is
probably so.anyway i was lost in the first verse.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

- 'Scarlet rust, viscous fluid,'
- 'Prohibited sympathiser, so silent,
Charmer of my affections,
You grip and possess me. '

Like this simple sentence yet so powerful. Others words are so strong for me. I had to refer to dictionary every now and then. It touches me and i can feel myself in her shoe. Thankis for sharing Gary.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would have dubbed this 'A Study in Thesaurus'; it has quirky charm which makes the flagrant overuse of 50 dollar words seem almost palatable.

The simpler lines brought it together: Reminiscence of sensations, Charmer of my affections

I rather longed to see more of them here as those are your strong point. Overall not bad and certainly helpful for expanding one's vocabulary.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is good.
The most perfect lines are:

"Prospection discriminates through light,
Presurmising recognition of an untrodden guise, "


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think it was very poe-esque by how it makes your mind run in circles as it tries to remember and understand both the language and the imagery. The imagery and meaning almost gets lost a couple times but the vocabulary was a nice touch. It added a flow.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 26, 2008
Last Updated on May 27, 2008

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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