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A Poem by Gary H
"

For Nixie's Competition

"
bexhill beach


And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

© 2009 Gary H



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Featured Review

I adore the book-ending of this poem, the repetition of "and so I finally find peace." You also have lovely alliteration going on in this piece. The image "barnacles slowly bite onto bones" is beautiful. You've touched upon the mythic here and also on shipwrecks. There are so many ways this piece can be interpreted. Wonderful!

You seem so attentive to detail; you may want to consider revising the "blue sea, sky," which seems to fall flat in comparison to the masterfully captured "a crackle of pebbles." Just a friendly suggestion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

'Final breath bubbles are swept away, '
- The lines are very powerful and easy to put the message across. but this one touch me the most. Thank you for the read Gary.
RedRaven

Posted 5 Months Ago


Very well written, Gary. So you finally found peace and name it home. I loved your poem. Keep writing more.

Posted 5 Months Ago


You took me with you. I felt as though I was an invisible friend, walking alongside.
So beautifully written.
Lovely piece :)

Posted 8 Months Ago


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Sam
I could literallly picture what u hav described!...nicely written!😊

Posted 8 Months Ago


Lovly job..... ..........

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Syd
This is beautiful. It is so full of raw emotion and to me has a sense of you being willing to follow this woman wherever she may go. Maybe it's a love poem, maybe you're escaping-- I really don't know. But either way, it's wonderfully written.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As I read this I really felt at peace. It felt like I was on the beach, somewhere beautiful

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem begins a little slowly, but damn does it get better with each line! The lines "blue sea, sky" and "salty breeze in the air" too me seem a little bit like a description of the beach I have heard before. You may consider revising just to add some originality there. From then on, this poem is incredible. It is such a contradiction. I have never before felt so calm and peaceful upon hearing about someone walking into the sea to their death, but I suppose that is the point. The last few lines I find to be reminiscent of The Tempest ("full fathom five, thy father lies.") I'm not sure if that was intentional, but if it was, keep up the good work. Please review one of mine if you get the chance :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I adore the book-ending of this poem, the repetition of "and so I finally find peace." You also have lovely alliteration going on in this piece. The image "barnacles slowly bite onto bones" is beautiful. You've touched upon the mythic here and also on shipwrecks. There are so many ways this piece can be interpreted. Wonderful!

You seem so attentive to detail; you may want to consider revising the "blue sea, sky," which seems to fall flat in comparison to the masterfully captured "a crackle of pebbles." Just a friendly suggestion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sad and intimately human. Beautifully written and touching. The darkness can bring beautiful poetry.
Blessings,
Annie🌹💕💃

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 10, 2009
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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A Poem by Gary H



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