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A Poem by Gary H
"

For Nixie's Competition

"
bexhill beach


And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

© 2009 Gary H



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Featured Review

I adore the book-ending of this poem, the repetition of "and so I finally find peace." You also have lovely alliteration going on in this piece. The image "barnacles slowly bite onto bones" is beautiful. You've touched upon the mythic here and also on shipwrecks. There are so many ways this piece can be interpreted. Wonderful!

You seem so attentive to detail; you may want to consider revising the "blue sea, sky," which seems to fall flat in comparison to the masterfully captured "a crackle of pebbles." Just a friendly suggestion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Splendid job. So many times I have wanted to become a part of that undersea world myself either swimming or dreaming beneath it forever. Your word invoke a great and many sensations and thoughts. I love this piece too. You are talented.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really love that last line. It was a perfect ending to the piece. Lovely job!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Going home and finding peace. You can feel the sea breeze, the coldness of the water. Very sad though. Makes you wonder why he has to go to his 'true friends'.

Well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's a really sincere poem. It reminds me of my childhood memories.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your Poem made me feel so FRESH and CALM. Amazing Piece :)) Love it!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That is very beautiful i liked it

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

''in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away'"
Beautiful and it is calming in an odd manner.
A fine read.
Beautiful work.
Thank you for sharing.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful. great energy in the language. very much enjoyed

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is beautiful, ALIVE, there is such feeling in this piece, great imagery! :D

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really good poem. It is so vivid! Well done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 10, 2009
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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A Poem by Gary H



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