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A Poem by Gary H
"

For Nixie's Competition

"
bexhill beach


And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

© 2009 Gary H



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Featured Review

I adore the book-ending of this poem, the repetition of "and so I finally find peace." You also have lovely alliteration going on in this piece. The image "barnacles slowly bite onto bones" is beautiful. You've touched upon the mythic here and also on shipwrecks. There are so many ways this piece can be interpreted. Wonderful!

You seem so attentive to detail; you may want to consider revising the "blue sea, sky," which seems to fall flat in comparison to the masterfully captured "a crackle of pebbles." Just a friendly suggestion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones."

Haunting! I did enjoy reading your poem. The imagery is both dark and beautiful at the same time....something that is difficult to accomplish. It gave me chills, and even disturbed me a bit. Well done!

-D.T. Wine

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed,"

A wonderful write indeed...:)..............

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Something refreshing..so glad I found this.

Nora

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful use of imagery...though in the end it sounds to me as if you're surrendering your life to the sea, just my perspective. I really enjoyed reading this piece:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

interesting way to describe the ocean. wasn't the best poem i read but it was good. keep writing im sure plenty of other people will like it. i just have a different opinion :) good work though

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow this really is the poem for peace and making someone feel just right!

-At Home, Bliss

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was simply...wow. Vivid. Descriptive. My toes have never kissed the ocean, yet your words made me feel as if those blue waters were just outside my window and I could skim my fingers across its cool surface. So peaceful.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The last 2 lines combined are so freaking wonderful....this is really really really beautiful! kudos for writing something that moves me to tears!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That is a relaxing piece :) Peace!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You have a beautiful way of writing and the imagery is great!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 10, 2009
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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A Poem by Gary H



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