Home

For Nixie's Competition

And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

Reviews

[Elena Rojas]

I really like the syllable pattern you put in the poem, and the way you described the ocean. I myself have never seen the ocean, so I have not an idea how it feels to be on the ocean. But alas, I can relate to the fact that I find peace in nature, and in what is around me. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to hear more from you! ;-)

[Bubo]

Suicide.............I guess for many brings peace, and you certainly translated that in your beautiful words, I almost felt I was standing on the shore line. I love the sea, one of the most peaceful places on earth.
Beautifully written.

[Desert Dreamer]

I am amazed at how peaceful and beautiful you made a poem with such a dark subject. I could actually imagine myself slipping happily into the ocean.

[Brasso]

I really liked this. I wasn't exactly surprised that this turned out to be a suicide poem (unless I'm reading it wrong), but it sort of lulled the reader into believing this would be a really sweet piece of poetry. However, the imagery created was very good, especially the onomatopoeic effect created by the 'crackle' of the pebbles. Great piece, in fact I identify this as not a poem, but as a piece of word art.
Cheers,
Brasso

[Elaine]

I like the peacefulness of this it's great and very beautiful. great job.

[Rachelle]

What a poem! I love it. It's so...captivating! Great writing.

[heido]

I somehow stopped reading and began to picture the scene. When poetry takes you out of the word and into the imagery it's an accomplishment. Thankyou.

[<3beneathstars;]

I was almost lulled to sleep by the beauty of this poem. you have a gift.

[Crambo]

It's so peaceful and serene. Calm. Home. Yet it's sad.

I love your use of imagery so much because I can truly see what you must have seen as you write this. I hope that the speaker in this poem ( i don't know whether I should refer to you ) found his/her friend "hidden in the depths."

[Brown Bull]

Very peaceful to read about something that I might not normaly experience.

[Jenny Nelson]

Beautiful picture, but you certainly didn't need it as you did quite well with your words painting a picture.
Created a very sad but peaceful mood. Just my opinion, poetry is about conveying a mental picture and a mood, and you've done both very well. Great poem.