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A Poem by Gary H
"

For Nixie's Competition

"
bexhill beach


And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

© 2009 Gary H



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Featured Review

I adore the book-ending of this poem, the repetition of "and so I finally find peace." You also have lovely alliteration going on in this piece. The image "barnacles slowly bite onto bones" is beautiful. You've touched upon the mythic here and also on shipwrecks. There are so many ways this piece can be interpreted. Wonderful!

You seem so attentive to detail; you may want to consider revising the "blue sea, sky," which seems to fall flat in comparison to the masterfully captured "a crackle of pebbles." Just a friendly suggestion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I loved it, it is truly beautiful how you capture the nature of the beach and the sea.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I LOVED THIS! it leaves me with a sigh! i love any body of water, ocean, lake, sea, pond! theyre just so beautiful and even more preciouse when calm! this write really depicts the mood i feel when i'm looking out at the horizon sitting atop a body of water! great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think this is a most lvely write here, so wonderful

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow gary you paint a marvelous picture of nature... it gives me delightful goosebumps reading this.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is very sweet. Glad to see you here. Liked how you combine love and nature. superb.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Nix
Aw, loved this Gary, I felt as if I was there on the shore looking out with the breeze against me skin. The ending was a nice surprise (though not nice, nice) which brought the poem together. Really enjoyed this one, thanks for entering it into the competition. :) ~ Nix

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The imagery in this piece is wonderful. In my minds eye I could see you going into the water and drifting out into the ocean as you are slowly submerged and dissapear from my sight into the watery abyss. Though it's sad, this piece was very enjoyable to read. Great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 10, 2009
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Gary H
Gary H

nowhere, United Kingdom



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A Poem by Gary H



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