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So Flock the Masses

So Flock the Masses

A Story by GenMuffin7

In-class essay Junior year.


PROMPT: The following article is a mock press release from The Onion, a publication devoted to humor and satire. Read the article carefully. Then write an essay in which you analyze the strategies used int he article to satirize how products are marketed to consumers.


I had no intentions of uploading the uber long article.


   In the field of marketing, creating an appealing image for a product is certainly placed at a higher priority than ensuring the quality in the performance of said product. An article in "The Onion" satirizes the method by which products are marketed to consumers by means of several literary strategies.

   The relatively frequent use of nonexistent words serve to mock the long-standing traditions of product advertising. A new branch of science, Terranometry, is born and is ridiculously defined as the study of the Earth's frequency, and our alignment, or disalignment, with the vibrational rate. Reflexology is another nonexistent term serving the author's humorous purpose. There exists no such medical technique that is recognized by the medical community. These newly-coined words do well to exploit the frustratingly ridiculous methods of advertising.

   The author(s) of the article brilliantly contruct even more unlikely and mocking dialogue to establish the satiric mood of the Magna Soles shoe inserts. The official website advertises the "healing power of crystals...a process similar to that by which medicine makes people feel better.: The improbable utilization of crystals brings to question the consistency of the advertising, while the uneducated reference to how medicine make speople feel better brings to light the faults of both the creators of the product and the product itself. The article concludes with feedback from reputed satisfied customers, one of whom suffers chronic back pain. "Why should I pay thousands of dollars ...when I can pay $20 for insoles clearly endorsed by an intelligent-looking man in a white labcoat?" This statement demonstrates how marketing takes advantage of the vulnerabilities of consumers. This may appear a logical assessment by some, but the methods of advertising by producing seemlingly reliable sources is scorned.

   "The Onion" imitates contemporary marketing styles and satirizes the means by which such is accomplished through overt strategies and methods. In modern society, the marketing field uses any and all means at its disposal to sell their products. The public are blatantly unaware of their exploitations.


© 2008 GenMuffin7

Author's Note

As you know, the quality of in-class essays generally are significantly less than those one slaves over at home. Any typos in the text are a result of my typing, and did not exist on the actual essay itself. Thanks!

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Added on July 23, 2008
Last Updated on July 30, 2008



Pleasanton, CA

high school junior. love to write, play all sports (esp soccer + football). more..