The Man In My Mind

Please excuse me while I think.

I think then plan, plan the perfect death.

It is not I whom shall die but you,

You are the perfect victim for a perfect crime.

 

I was once normal, can you imagine?

I’ve right my wrongs since then of course,

Oh darling don’t worry your death won’t be quick,

You’ll bleed out and cave in, dare to scream out?

First try to inhale.

 

My dear, when you speak your voice shatters my ears,

Too much, too load, too often, shut up! Just shut up-

Out with your blasted tongue! I’ll keep it in a jar,

Lock it away so you dare not harm another soul.

 

Back to the girl I was before you,

Before you worked your way in.

Back to waking with reason to live,

To roaming without the weight of your depression.

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar issues, also do let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Voidwvlf]

I think asking people to ignore grammar is a mistake, as feedback is essential to improvement, but I digress.

Your feelings are palpable and raw, which isn't a bad thing. I think I'm correct when I infer that this piece was somewhat therapeutic? This relationship clearly ended in bitterness and a strong feeling of betrayal, which is brazenly displayed here in an unabashed exposé of regretted experience. Well done.

[mattavelli]

I have a hard time ignoring grammar issues, but only your second stanza suffered too much. Seems he's turned you away from your path. No need to kill him...
Your writing was full of vengeance. I could say blah blah teenage angst blah blah youthful exuberance, but that's garbage that you shouldn't listen to. Every relationship you have will be yours and you will have to take responsibility and from your last stanza, it looks like youve got it. So kick this guy to the curb and go spend some time with yor grandparents or some little kids. Erase the drama from your life. Hav fun. -Matt