Mirror, Mirror.

A Poem by Gia Houseman

Blind. I believed in her blindly as if she were the only thing I had left. Her voice still embedded in my mind, it seemed as if her presence in my life would never leave. My blind hope in her that maybe one day she would change for the better and climb out of the hole she was digging herself into but now I wish I had opened my eyes. Time after time I tried telling her to stay strong or to just pull herself together, I mean come on? How could your life be so hard? When I looked at her, sure I could see she wasn't coping all to well with school and she needed a solid nights sleep but then again, what do I know?

I know she has tried to help herself but she relapses every time because she doesn't go to anyone to vent, she just bottles it up and so the pressure keeps building, one crappy day after another, her vessel can only handle so much. Relapse. She can't help it, she wants to leave and she has the scars to prove it too... Rope burn around her neck, scars from stabbing herself, scars from cutting herself, weak stomach from the amounts of times she has overdosed and fragile bones from jumping off buildings that were never high enough.

Nothing, she can't do anything right in her mind. She cant even do the math that the buildings she needed to jump off needed to be higher that 5 flights unless she was jumping headfirst. her cuts weren't deep enough, her knives never hit anything important and she couldn't keep down all the pills she took and the rope she used would never be strong enough to hold her weight. But that's good right?

I mean if she really wanted to die she'd find a taller building, but she doesn't.

If she really wanted to die she would have cut deeper.

If she really wanted to die she would have picked up the thicker rope right next to the one she had tried using several times.

If she wanted to die, why is she still fighting to live?

It's simple, death takes away the chances of things to get better.

So she lives, having hope that maybe today will be better than the last.