Signs

this dull ache bears a misplaced name

scratched out in midnight moon-paint

upon a wall I used to brush with lover’s eyes

as you breathed unholy hymns upon my neck

soft as the whispers of winter’s wilting leaves

regret melting gradually from black-ink branches

 

like a child, I cannot force the letters to commit

they will not become something they never were

no matter how many ways I rearrange them

 

they are the pale bones of an obsolete history

decomposing slowly in the backwoods of my mind

where stacks of caution signs rust red

beneath thorny vines dusted with virgin snow

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

I feel you are striking into new territory... A new panel of metaphors and design... A change of seasons in this onset of winter and his aftermath...

Anyway, I felt frigid, standing in the skeletal remains of a forest built from sad memories that can't be changed, even in dreams... he, is gone... and what remains of she, is broken, yet embryonic... My visions from this portrait of loss that you have so vividly drawn...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Horizon.

jacob

[Rebecca Buller]

"...decomposing slowly in the backwoods of my mind
where stacks of caution signs rust red
beneath thorny vines dusted with virgin snow"

To me, this is similar to Emily Dickinson's writings. It seems sad, yet hauntingly beautiful. Very, very well done, GF! I simply adored it:)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You just made my day...thank you!

[Anand Sehgal]

loneliness and insecurity leads to dark thoughts. You really create the scenes in the very best way.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you...I am good with the darkness. lol

[Ed Hart]

oh you'll survive...all that life drama is handed you so you'll learn how to write good...working pretty well, don't you think

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Hopefully it's sending me in the right direction at least...thank you Ed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such glorious imagery you use...but it never feels forced...you provoke deep response to your words.

jacob

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You are very kind, Jacob. Thank you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You can really be extremely creative without losing any of the emotional element.
Your words sent chills up my spine as the heartbreak found its resting place under a layer of snow.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend!

[Jack...]

It is a cold day when the heart breaks, regardless of what the temperature is outside. Winter grips us and chills us. Our minds always tend to move in reverse, searching for the early signs that we missed, grasping for reasons and perhaps the "What could we have done to prevent this?" But as that snow melts and the ground thaws, we see in the gardens of life a new sign that shows us...maybe it is better this way. There will always be new gardens to tend and always winters to deal with...maybe the next winter will not be so harsh.

Beautiful Sarah, once again I sit amazed at what I read from your pen. May you always have an unending supply of ink.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You humble me, Jack :)

[icelandicblue]

Your imagery of a dying relationship are chilly and vivid. You've picked a perfect month where the dying is slow and painful and there is no force on earth that can change the outcome:

like a child, I cannot force the letters to commit
they will not become something they never were
no matter how many ways I rearrange them

they are the pale bones of an obsolete history

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Those hymns are the songs, that you feel luv..... they are important...
I love the way your new writing set's you so little, through the eyes of a child,
I know from out of my own writing, being best - friends with your inner little is great.
She has always to say something to you, and to warn you as signs for the big bad world...
That's what I felt here.

Beautiful metaphor my sweet friend, you rock at that....

- Elisa

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend :)

My pleasure dear friend...