Agonizing void

Agonizing void

A Poem by Warrior

You know that moment when you need to cry. That moment that everything is so wrong that you are just aching to sob your eyes out to the point that you can’t breathe and just sit there as a crumpled mess on the floor gasping for air in between the sobs.

And then nothing.

Nothing comes out


No tears no screams no gasping

Nothing. As you stare Into the distance and feel your heart tearing itself to pieces silently.

© 2018 Warrior



Author's Note

Warrior
I hope I'm not alone in feeling like this.
Please comment or message me.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I have felt that also, but life says move on.
You are not alone but everyone have but once too.
Nice lines.

Posted 10 Months Ago


i feel like this 24/7 it hurts but your not alone if you ever need to talk to someone i am here
-cookie

Posted 10 Months Ago


I know how that feels. I've been there so many time I sometime wonder what have happen to me.

Posted 10 Months Ago


we all feel like this from time to time...

Posted 11 Months Ago


Don't you hate that, when you feel like you want to cry but yet nothing comes out, maybe we are stronger then what we think we are. awesome write

Posted 11 Months Ago


Warrior

11 Months Ago

Thank you so much. And yes I hate it very much. It's one of the worst feelings
Hello.

You wrote a poetic text about a certain feeling(I don't think it has a name), an inability to cry. I believe that this inability to cry appears when your psychic is filled with a range of feelings and thoughts.
However, let's get back to your text. The subject (this feeling/experience you're trying to describe) is chosen well but I think you didn't express your idea right. Now, let me explain. It's not about my personal preferences or selfishness, I just wanna correct you and give you ideas of ways you can approach different subjects. "You know that moment when you need to cry.", that's the sentence you started the text with. As one advice(or opinion), you should try to start texts(poems) in different ways. You know, when the reader is starting to read a text, you have to push him/her right inside your imagination and then him/her will be able to paint a picture of your vision. Let me give you an example, written by me (you don't need to do things like me, I just wanna give an advice and don't try to seem selfish, haha): Agonizing void... the numb spirit of my body, guard of civic tears...
You can also try different approaching ways ^^, there are many.


Overall, you're a writer that needs to develop(just like all of us). As a beginner(I bet), you should try more writing styles under you discover and carve your own writing style and vision. You're good and you have some nice ideas, so don't stop! No matter what!


Good luck!

Posted 11 Months Ago


Warrior

11 Months Ago

Wow. Thank you so much for the advice. I will definitely be looking into this.
Jes' Pi

11 Months Ago

You're welcome! Keep writing!
Wow this is painful but so true and I'm sure a lot of people have felt this at one point or another.

Posted 11 Months Ago


so very well written,
sad write, I used to feel this way quite a bit.
nicely expressed

Posted 11 Months Ago


Warrior

11 Months Ago

Thanks for the comment and for telling me about you too. It has helped me a lot.
Yeah, I guess our lot has gone through it at certain times in life. I think it's okay to go through that because it only reassures that we're assessing things which is great!

Posted 11 Months Ago


Oh! my dear sweet friend, that kind of pain is one of the hardest, tears will sure help You release what's inside You, and You will feel more better after crying...

I like Your style in this one, the prelude then Your sentences one by one, taking us down with Your emotions, I pray so much beautiful ease for You my friend.

all the best wishes for You🌸🌸🌸

Posted 11 Months Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

386 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 1, 2018
Last Updated on January 2, 2018

Author

Warrior
Warrior

United Kingdom



About
Hi everyone I hope you all enjoy my writing, here is one of my favorite quotes: I've never met a strong person with an easy past. - Atticus more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Uncertainity Uncertainity

A Story by Saumya


SADNESS TOWN SADNESS TOWN

A Poem by Manel