Does this Matter

Does this Matter

A Poem by C.A.B.S.
"

open for interpretations

"
She saw me a mile away.
Drinking Mia Tia's by the bay.
She want what she thinks,
Like the sand that fades to waves.
Oh does this matter?

Then she said,
"take my hand and make feel like a woman.
Hold me closer until the night ends
and if you go before I leave,
Then I wouldn't know what to think."
Like floral sands that take a watery shape.

Long Island Ice Teas,
What can Bind us from you through me?
She thinks what can not be true,
Like the water under the spotted blues.
Oh does this matter?

Manhattans and Daiquiris
Hold the glass and drink the fountain.
She is not so easy, under the the sea
But the morning could give us sleep.
Oh does this matter?


© 2010 C.A.B.S.



Author's Note

C.A.B.S.
do you understand the metaphors and the message behind this piece, don't be shy I want to know what you truly think.

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Featured Review

I enjoyed this. As many have pointed out, metaphors are rarely universal but tend to be a reflection of the reader as well as the writer; a bit like those ink blot pictures. For me, this was about one woman and her relationship with drink - with alochol as the 'mistress'. That point when the drink could lead you astray and you're at that semi-inebriated point of thinking "should I carry on?"

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I do find it a little hard to grasp the underlying message here, but the imagery is really good, and it's definitely really artistic.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Frankly this is a bit hard to understand the way I see it is a couple had a recent tiff and went to a favorite spot to try and make things better but one is questioning the wisdom of attempting to move forward in the relatioship.

Posted 6 Years Ago


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I think the idea that underlies this piece is interesting. I would like to encourage you to keep playing with this idea, in various forms, so that it could develop into something. Experimentation is rather important when it comes to writing. There is also a caution I'd like to extend, that I noticed in the piece. Repetition is a very useful trick, but it can easily be overdone. I think that this poem might fall into overdone repetition. You have the different drinks, the "oh does this matter?", and you really only have one image in this poem. The image I'm talking about is the "Like the sand that fades to waves." This might just be me, but that line and the last line of the next stanza seemed to be pretty much the same thing. It was a little different, but it just sounded like a variation of the same image. This isn't a long poem, so this image that repeats (in the way that I read it) prevents the poem from really going anywhere. If you ever wanted to go back over this piece, I would suggest that you try to use different images so that it doesn't feel like I'm reading the same thing twice. Just something to think about. Again, I would encourage to keep exploring this idea and see where it takes you.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this. As many have pointed out, metaphors are rarely universal but tend to be a reflection of the reader as well as the writer; a bit like those ink blot pictures. For me, this was about one woman and her relationship with drink - with alochol as the 'mistress'. That point when the drink could lead you astray and you're at that semi-inebriated point of thinking "should I carry on?"

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Whereas I think the flow and content reads really well, i found the meaning somewhat amorphous: ib one line we're talking drink, the next it's woman .. there was an attempt to meld the two but though I think the idea is great, not sure it actually came off ..

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Metaphors are not always universal, as is some poetry. The imagery is water based, which in some quarters means cleansing and rebirth; you have the sexual innuendo, but then you have the refrain, does this matter? It's like taking one step forward and two steps back. Vision impaired and booze filled view of the world colors it nicely or does this matter?

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see it as someone looking at themselves, and trying to discover what they truly want out of life. Very good and very interesting piece.

-Richard

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I didn't really know what you meant with the metaphors, to be honest, until I looked at Tina Kline's review and then I realized that it actually sounds about right. I'm sixteen, so I don't know what half these drinks look like, but when you said daquiris, I know those, they're colorful (Sorta) and I don't know, I thought of sunsets for some reason. Anyway, I liked this, but it seemed a little choppy. You might want to work on the flow a little more, but that's just a suggestion. Nice work :3

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked this piece. I agree with Tina Kline on this. I got the samething out of it. Great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

To me this sounded two people meeting and one wants a one night stand but the other person, while considering it, is wondering if what she wants is so simple. Overall, I really did like the poem, liked the description and imagery you used.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 8, 2010
Last Updated on March 9, 2010
Tags: Do you understand the metaphors?

Author

C.A.B.S.
C.A.B.S.

Read my about me damn it, KY



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