A VISAGE

Close your eyes and meet the mask of darkness that lies in front of you. No matter what happens, you will always be aware of an aspect of yourself. Your body will feel cold or warm depending upon the temperature of the room; your eyes will twitch if you are in a bright lightened area; your stomach will rumble if you are hungry. No matter what you try, something will be awake inside you.

Now imagine a world bigger than yourself.  Imagine a place where everything you think you can conceive existed and not one singular thought is constrained. Does that place sound familiar? What would you say if everything alive was the entire life force of the world?  Never ending but changing all the time.

Sometimes these thoughts leave me and come back to me in dreams.  This dream occurred to me on the first day of the cold month of December. 

 

I awakened with great fear and immense terror. The pain of hitting the ground subsided as I got a chance to catch my breath. Why does pain inside a dream feel so real and when we wake up we swear we can still feel it?

 I blindly stumble across my room, smacking into my dresser, as I locate the switch on the wall and turn on the light. Breathing a sigh of relief, the adrenaline still pumps inside of me as sweat pours down my body. I pull out a drawer of the dresser and pull out a leather bound notebook. It was clean, never been used.   I walk to a small table situated next to a window and sit down in a nice comfortable office chair in front of it.  I grab a pen from the floor and begin to write out these words:

Ocean, Under, Roller Coaster, Fear, Elevator, Death

I lean back and reflect upon the dream.

           

     I was inside a truck with rolled down windows. The driver was an acquaintance of mine. We were positioned in front of a great blue ocean.  I could make out the harbor around it but when I tried looking further, I was only greeted with a wall of light. He proceeded to tell me that there was a treasure underneath the ocean and that we could drive there and grab it. I start to feel Fear come and grab me. The feeling of Fear always has a constraining effect upon my chest. The acquaintance rolls up the windows and proceeds to accelerate into the water.

              

  We are then inside a room. I can tell it’s a sky scraper because I can see outside. The building was made out of windows, similar to the house in Thirteen Ghosts, and the city runs beneath it with neon lights and light up signs. There was no way back from where we came. We were stuck.

 Up ahead I see a coaster train opened up to new passengers. The Fear begins again as I lose composure and my head begins the spin. I am terrified of this coaster. I just want to be safe. I stay behind as my acquaintance goes inside the train. Based upon my conclusion, I feel as if I had made a terrible mistake.

Everything then goes to hell. A window on the side of the room slides open and a humanoid robot falls inside. The glass starts to crack as I frantically try to find a way out of the building. I run down a short hallway and get to an elevator. There is another robot standing next to the button smiling at me. Her expression does not change. It was as if the ride was breaking down. She pressed the button to slide open the door as I step inside. The doors close shut as the image of the dream turns to black. I feel a tremendous rush as I realize that the elevator is falling at a tremendous rate.

 

What does this dream mean? When I fall asleep and dream sometimes answers come to me but I have to search to find out.

I leave my house and walk down the dark but street light lit sidewalk encompassing my neiborhood. I look to the moon and another dream sparks in my mind like a lit match

 

I was inside a high school classroom. We had a very old lady as a teacher and judging by her curt actions and movements she was deeply religious. Plus, to add to that fact, she had a rosary necklace.  

I don’t know why but I kept getting yelled at by her. She got mad to the point she tried to ask me a question to invoke some sort of response in me as I only stared at her straight in the eyes defiantly.

 

I then pulled out my laptop and laid it on my desk.  She looked down at the laptop them back to my eyes and stated,

                “That delicate piece of machinery needs a smart mind to operate.”

I looked at her with a blank anger filled expression. I just wanted to rip her into pieces. We are then inside a home and I decided to leave her inside.

 

I try to steady my breathing as I walk down the street. Something seems odd here. I breathe again. 

There it is. It was that same odd sensation.

I look up to the sky and the full moon is glowing in between the stars.  I exhale a deep breath.

I noticed something on this last breath. It seemed to crystalize and sprout by it never became palpable.

 I am still in a dream but then everything turns black.

 

 

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems