Stacey (short horror) part 1

ten part horror/comedy I wrote back in 2013. bad grammar- bad speeling bad paragraphing and terrible one liners- but hey - its funny.

STACEY.

[part 1]

What was I thinking? How did I think I was going to get away with it? Was I so naïve to believe that I had a chance in hell of pulling it off. Maybe if I hadn’t stopped for gas on the way, or remembered to switch of my cell phone, or even make sure I had locked the boot of the car would have been a good start. But I was flustered, the mind wasn’t thinking straight. The well executed plan I had gone over again and again went to s**t as soon as I walked out the door. I should have known better.

 If I run it back and play it through again, I can see where it all started going wrong. It was just before Stacey saw me in the corridor. Stacey with her breasts, and her legs. Stacey with her bouncy golden hair, and her smile. S**t I should have turned and walked the other way. I could have done it, no problem, if she hadn’t bounced and jiggled her way up to me fluttering her lashes and playing all dumb. But no, I had to go and stop. I had to try my luck with Stacey. One more roll of the dice before….well before it went to s**t.

I fluffed the pillow, turning it over to the cool side as I lay and stared at the ceiling, my eyes throbbing with realisation I had another bad hangover . I followed the small crack in the plaster as it meandered under the coving on the far wall, all the way over to the doorway of the bathroom, where it became a fracture of plaster and cobwebs. Another job I hadn’t got around to do, that had become too big for me to handle. Another job left to linger and fester unchecked. It would just have to wait, like all the rest.
I cursed and checked the display again, this time it was eleven fifty five, really…twenty one minutes staring at a frigging crack in the wall…or was it just one minute, had I just read the clock wrong in the first place? I rolled out of bed and adjusted myself, waiting for the sickly woozy dizziness  to begin, as I fumbled in the dark for my jeans and yesterdays socks. The first of yesterdays socks were hanging from the leg of the jeans and I pulled it free and sniffed it before crouching over and searched for its partner. 

After a couple of minutes searching, pulling all sorts of s**t from under the bed, I realised I still had the other one on my foot. Cursing the hangover kicking me in the head I stumbled to my feet and made my way over to the bathroom door, yip there it was…the dizziness had started. It didn’t take to long for the cold sweats to arrive. Before I had a chance to check for my wallet in my jeans I was on the floor with my head over the toilet and my damp forehead resting on the cold porcelain, reciting the never again verse over and over. 

Ten minutes later, and a dry retch work out complete, I got up and wiped the acid drool from my stubbled chin- then stared back at the hung-over reflection that was watching the morning routine unfold from the medicine cabinet. 'F**k you' he said, and then snarled at me as I wiped my sweaty brow on the sock I had in my hand. I turned to leave him and his smugness and made my way to the kitchen slinging the denims over my shoulder and began recounting last nights mess.

So I stagger to the kitchen and the scene hits me. Its total carnage, its like someone has broken into my pad and ran a lawnmower over my floor " trashing everything in its path. The fridge must have exploded at some point as well , as the weeks shopping is now coating the kitchen floor and walls. My jaw drops, over in the corner someone has decided to take a dump, on top of the pedal bin. ON MY PEDAL BIN...B******s!

Jack, f*****g Jack . And who else- think …think… BARRY…Yes! They appeared late on at the door asking to join the party- and I let them in. what was I thinking. I let them in and then all hell broke loose.

I walked over to the fridge and closed the door, kicking a discarded tub of Ben and Jerry’s phish food with the foot with the sock in it.

The I saw him…

It was the blood on the kitchen worktop. I followed the trail from the chopping block were thick clumps of hair stuck to the large knife that was driven in deep into it. the blood trail led me to the sink, and there, sticking out from the waste disposal unit was Archie. Well bits of him anyway. I gasped and steadied myself at the sight, and I could feel the blood rushing from my head and the bile rising from my belly again.

It was his little furry feet poking from the munching blades that set me off, poor little b*****d. I’d had Archie for five years. Lost him eight times in the first year, he’d tunnelled out six times in the second " but I got him back every time- Archibald Ives by name Archibald Ives by nature. But he was hanging on the wire now. I pulled the wee guy from the hole , half of him anyway and made my way over to the pedal bin and kicked the pedal- forgetting about the dump on the lid. It sailed to the floor next to the Ben and Jerry’s tub and broke its overnight seal. The stench hit me and again I retched, dropping Archie into the bin and turning from the putrid smell.

I fell onto the couch and slid on my jeans, then held my sweaty head in my hand. What the hell happened last night. It was all a hazy nightmare, and I couldn’t remember any of them leaving, hell I couldn’t remember much.

 Jack and Barry arrived about midnight I got that, the tequila shot started soon after. When Mary found the Twister mat, things got hot. s**t I think it was me who suggested the naked twister, but Mary was all for it. After that….Stacey…..Oh s**t, Stacey had appeared " after that its just a blur.

Stacey Wall Becker always invited herself to parties, and here she was at one of mine. So I'm standing at the door in my boxers, I remember that- Stacey walks in and then…and then ...

bollocks! I can’t remember. I lean forward and pick up a can of Pepsi by my feet and slosh it around the can before raising it to my mouth and gulp down the flat warm nectar which seems to go down okay, until I choke back on the cigarette butt someone had kindly deposited.

Then I remember…then it all comes back!

Author's Note

foyget the grammar please- enjoy the ride. then at the end well have a question and answer with hot cocoa eh !