The Meaning of Existence

A short story of sorrow and loss.

My feet slosh in the puddles, rain droplets falling among the terrain, only to add to my misery. A clap a thunder sends a chill down my spine, and a bright flash a lightning appears a few miles further. Where am I going, exactly? Even I do not know. Somewhere, anywhere but here. A place to leave my past behind and begin a new journey. But where is this place? I've been walking for a day and haven't a clue. 

My mind wanders to yesterday, when I was home, safe and sound. Home, where Mother would bake a warm batch of cookies and set them out on the dining table, awaiting me to arrive and gorge them down, and smiling as I did so. Home, where Father and I would travel to the lake to fish and share stories. I missed Mother and Father. And I am sure they miss me. After all, I was their only child, their only joy. I loved Mother and Father. Oh, how I wish they could be here!

Guilt overcomes my body, and soon I am shivering. No, it isn't the guilt. Not this time. The cause is the wind fiercely gusting throughout the air. The agony is unbearable.

Why did I leave home? The only place I was happy? It always brought a smile to my face...and I just abandoned it? Home. I must go back. Home.

Suddenly, a final wisp of wind knocks me off my feet, and I collapse to the filthy path. My fingers run across the asphalt road. I solemnly cough a bit, and watch as my chest slowly rises up and down. What else can I do? I've had a splendid life, but here I belong. Alone. Ah, yes. Alone. I love it.

A sensation of pain and drowsiness tingles through my body, and I take in one last deep breath of fresh-air. And I close my eyes. Eternally.

Author's Note

Could you picture this person's struggle? Did I use plenty of details?

Reviews

[Jake A Smiley]

The opening was great, I felt it set the tone and built initial tension nicely. The second paragraph is really what leaves me confused. Or, more aptly put, it feels like there's a missing paragraph between the second and third paragraph. I have difficulty relating to this person because I have no idea why they left. I can understand looking back in hindsight and wondering "why did I do this? Was I seriously that stupid?", which is kind of the feeling I got in the third paragraph. It's nicely done, good descriptions. I just feel something is missing that could help me really relate to your character.

[Baby Ricochet]

Good little story. THe protagonist needs to go back home.

[~Nina~]

Thank you!