Gun Control!! | | The Online Writing Community
Gun Control!!

Gun Control!!

A Poem by Christopher Norton

Gun control, you f*****g dummies... A sardonic, instructional text on how to keep yourself and your loved ones safe around big scary guns.

  Today on "Angry, paranoid and depressed guy with nothing better to do than spouting crazy s**t that makes perfect sense": Gun control, hitting what you're pointing at. 

  Preparation: Your gun should be stored in a cool, dry place. Store it in a safe or secure hiding place with an appropriate trigger or bold locking device. Do not disclose it's location to others who are not experienced or may take advantage of your gun. Store the keys safely away from the container and locking device.

  First: make sure your weapon is on safety. Now pull back the charging handle or bolt or slide and chamber a round.

  Second: Check your fire sector. Make sure that there are no collateral targets in your line of fire. Keeping your finger off the trigger grasp the weapon firmly, without squeezing and raise into firing position with the dangerous end pointed at center of mass of your target. No need to be fancy and start going for headshots. They will be covered later in the lesson.

  Third: disengage the safety mechanism. Breathe slowly and evenly. Pay close attention to your heartbeat. Take a breath in and slowly exhale. Squeeze, don't pull the trigger at the bottom of your exhale, if possible, in between heartbeats. Don't let the recoil scare you. It's fine. You're ok.

  Fourth: If you have followed the steps correctly up to this point, you now have a severely wounded or deceased person in front of you. If they are not on the ground in a puddle of blood, repeat the trigger pressure application procedure as many times as necessary to achieve incapacitation.

  Follow-up: depending on the circumstances of your engagement, it may be appropriate to finish off your target. If so, carefully approach while keeping your target in your sights and disarm by any means that does not compromise your line of sight. When target has been subdued and disarmed and a coup de grace is required, repeat trigger pressure application process at least twice to the face or cranium from a distance of no more than 3 feet. Re-engage safety and lower and secure your weapon. 

  Good job!!! You have just learned all there is to know about "gun control". Keeping this lesson in mind will be most helpful in controlling the machinery designed to deliver high velocity projectiles into targets at a distance. When not in use, we ask that you keep your weapon secure and out of the hands of untrained people, children and morons. Remember: only YOU can prevent mass murders, "accidental" shootings and gun crime by learning to be a responsible and trained individual, familiar with the safe storage, handling, use of firearms. 

  So when you're getting mugged, don't call a cop with a GUN to do your dirty work for you. P***y. You are wasting taxpayer dollars and time. There are no accidents. Just irresponsible a******s and p*****s who are afraid to learn how to safely handle a machine that they want to scapegoat for society's ills. For more common sense life lessons, stay tuned to this channel. Till next time kids: Don't trust Whitey!!!

© 2014 Christopher Norton

Author's Note

Christopher Norton
I'm only half sarcastic in this piece. This is very common sense stuff.

My Review

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Well...does not go beyond the the others...
I just read in a sequences of events...
this is just outright --- and self-explained...
either you understand ---
or just in left that case ---
do not own a gun...

Posted 4 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Glen Yumang Manese

4 Years Ago

you're welcome...
Christopher Norton

4 Years Ago

This is kinda related to "Cut Down"... think of it as the logical mind of an emotionally broken pers.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

4 Years Ago

Good to see you this intended for me...or did you put your comment the wrong slot... read more

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1 Review
Added on March 5, 2014
Last Updated on March 5, 2014
Tags: guns, murder, instructions, how-to, sarcastic


Christopher Norton
Christopher Norton

S. Glens Falls, NY

Subtlety is not my style. How can I describe myself without sounding self-indulgent? I could say something dark and clever but the truth is, I'm an uneducated, high school dropout who has never don.. more..