Patience

Patience

A Poem by Gullia King

She felt an unease heaviness in the wind. 
"You're just another let down.  
Another chapter full of mistakes." 
Some people are novels, 
the world will never get tired of reading, she thought. 
He said she seemed like an old soul, 
She told him she was just swoon by the moon. 
Her eyes downcast and brimming, 
With a broken voice she asked Time how long 
it would take for him to put the pieces of her broken heart together. 
"Patience, my loved one" said time, 
"I'll teach you". 
"I'm not everyone's cup of tea. 
I don't connect to other souls easily." 
She said as she put her hands on her face and started sobbing. 
"Maybe life is this luxurious thing that is not meant for the weak-minded. 
Un stimulated souls that are not entwined are unhappy." 
She looked up at the starry night, tears rolling down her cheeks. 
"Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation." Said Time 
and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. 
Letting her know that she'll never be alone, whatever may come.



© 2017 Gullia King



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Reviews

Beautiful! I hope you have a book, you got what it takes!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

You have no idea how much your review made me smile. My biggest goal in life is to write a book. I r.. read more
The use of words and expressions are really praiseworthy. Wonderfully written. Not to mention the image! Beautiful altogether.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much, beautiful :)
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Zoe
The personification of time was a real wise and creative idea, it's dialogues were no less wiser:
"Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation."
Beautifully penned. Also, a lovely image to complement the piece.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

Thank you, Zoe. I'm happy you like my piece :)
Zoe

2 Months Ago

My pleasure!
Grammar and spelling corrections/optional edits:

She felt an uneasy heaviness in the wind.
"You're just another let down.
Another chapter full of mistakes."
Some people are novels
the world will never get tired of reading, she thought.
He said she seemed like an old soul.
She told him she was just swooned by the moon.
Her eyes were downcast and brimming,
And with a broken voice she asked Time how long
it would take for him to put the pieces of her broken heart together.
"Patience, my loved one" said Time,
"I'll teach you".
"I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
I don't connect with other souls easily,"
she said as she put her hands on her face and started sobbing.
"Maybe life is this luxurious thing that is not meant for the weak-minded.
Un-stimulated souls that are un-entwined are unhappy."
She looked up at the starry night, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation," said Time,
as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder,
Letting her know that she'll never be alone, whatever may come.

Comment:
I don't really have many comments except for those which were referenced above. "You're just another let down" and the sentence that follows are a bit cliche, but not dreadfully so. You've got some incomplete sentences and extra commas here and there, but other than that I enjoyed your piece a lot. The picture at the end is especially beautiful (not to detract from your work of course). Nicely done.


Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

3 Months Ago

Thank you .
Ethan

3 Months Ago

No problem :)
This is so true... the more we expect, the more we are hurt when we are let down. Patience is a virtue very hard to achieve...especially if there's something that we loved is gone...I loved your work...probably this is the first time I read your work and I surely look forward to read more.

I don't connected to other souls easily."
I DONT CONNECT TO OTHER SOULS EASILY
or I DIDN'T CONNECT TO OTHER SOULS EASILY
Whichever feels proper... just a suggestion. No offence. .keep writing . Good job.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

3 Months Ago

Hey, thank you for the review and the heads up. I just re-read my piece and noticed a typo. Fixed i.. read more
There are some times when being patient is too much to bear. At some point we all need the assurance that we're all right. That we want to know that things will see through to a final happier ending.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

3 Months Ago

Thank you, Dave!
'Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change' - Thomas Hardy

Solid write, with exquisite flow and imaginative creativeness - very nicely penned!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

Thank you, Phill! :)
love this piece... I have kinda noticed that most of your poems contain the word SOUL... but hey you write some exploding poems, just keep on:)
























Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

3 Months Ago

You've wrote this review before and I have explained.
Thank you for reading .)
Lovely. I would have liked to leave it at that, but the character rules.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

Thank you for reading, Jon!
patience is the mere key to success.
I loved this piece.
I like the structure and style and how vividly it convinces oneself.
riveting read!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gullia King

2 Months Ago

Thank you, dear!

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Added on June 12, 2017
Last Updated on July 18, 2017

Author

Gullia King
Gullia King

New York, NY



About
Welcome to my mysterious world. I'm a lost writer from New York, trying to find some purpose in life. more..

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A Poem by Gullia King



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