The Eulogy of Alice Hayes

A man says goodbye to his wife.

Her chest rose.

Her chest fell.

And once again the painful silence flooded the small, dank room - just like the fluid that crippled her lungs.

The silence he had grown to know all too well.

Would there be another laboured, crackled breath?

The hot, chemical air was suffocating.

Visitors never stayed long. The smell of sickness chased them away like, like sheep ran from a rabid dog.

They came only for a short while, to appease their conscience and to wash away the gnawing guilt in their hearts that ebbed like the passing tide whenever they thought of her.

She had been sick for so long; diseased for longer.

Only he stayed. Never leaving her side.

Forty years would do that to you. Whereas many ‘friends’ and distant relatives, feigning sympathy, secretly prayed for her to pass, he held on to her clammy, once beautiful hand. He would readily sell her soul for her to return to how she once was; to how they once were.

“It’s cruel.” they would say with a pained look on their face.

“It’s just a matter of time now.” they would state with an utter lack of tact.

“You should try and get some rest. This isn’t good for you, Emmett.” they would say with a total lack of understanding of what real love is; of what real love looks like.

Real love isn’t pretty. It isn’t all bouquets of begonias, reels of restaurants and grand gestures.

These amateurs of true grief.

Good for him?

Good for him?!

What did they know about what was good for him?

What was good for him was lying, unresponsive, a foot from him, at the end of his arm, on the bed they once called ‘theirs’.

The bed that had now been turned into a makeshift hospital cart in their own home.

The bed, that in their youth, they had spent countless Sunday morning’s in, moving only to change the vinyl on the record player.

The bed they moved with them through every apartment, every house and every home.

The bed they made love in.

The bed they planned their future in.

The bed on which they promised to stay together forever.

She broke that promise when a doctor young enough to be their grandson escorted them into his office.

“Mrs. Hayes, I’m sorry, but it’s terminal.”

He went on to talk at them about “making her comfortable” and “many fine care facilities” that would help with her “specialised needs”.

Emmett had stopped listening.

He went numb.

His best friend, his partner, his wife; his life, was going to die.

He turned his whole body to face hers. Her once vibrant being had been dwarfed by the revelation.

She turned to him, looking for answers in his eyes. Her mouth slightly open in disbelief, her lips dry from her heavy breaths.

How could he fall apart now? She needed him; more than she ever had.

He simply held her hand and didn’t let go.

He held it all the way home.

Now, deprived of food and sleep, he held it still.

Now, devoid of logic and reason, he held it still.

And, now, with the full, fear-stricken knowledge that another breath had not come,

He held it still.

Author's Note

Please ignore spelling and grammar. This was just a quick penning. I hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Someone read-requested me (I think it was Esther) . . . and I'm glad she did. Lots of people write about death & dying here, but this is one of the most real & powerful & raw messages I've seen here. You touched on a bunch of things most pieces do not include, such as the ungenerous things people really think & feel & say in such a situation. Then you shift more toward the depths of what the guy is feeling, as a rebuttal to the dumb shallow stuff people mutter in such situations. When you repeat "bed" for a number of varied lines -- this really pumps up the intensity & a sense of outrage. Similarly for the next set of similar lines almost like a chant. This SHOWS instead of telling about the "anger" stage of grief (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Meghan Renee]

Death alone is hard. I've been lucky enough to not be touched by it personally, but I have seen what it does to those close to me. Despite that, this short-story manages you to put you in the lover's place. I teared up a bit and my heart still hurts from reading it.

[GwenLark]

I'm glad you enjoyed it x

[PurpleMuse]

I got total absolute CHILLS reading this. Raw. Powerful. Beautiful. I could almost see me and my husband in this moment, and how it will feel to have to let go someday.

I NEVER rate 100, because I feel writers can always do better and should strive to. Well done.

[GwenLark]

Thank you so, so much. It means a lot x

[Agyani]

It's strange that the voice in this piece is still in pain after suffering defeat after defeat in life. "It's cruel."

The thoughts and feelings you have talked about and spread through this piece are really touching. These are things plaguing so many people, and you have captured and expressed them through your words rather brilliantly. Grief is something that doesn't need a few stolid words masked with plastic sympathy, or worse, plastic empathy. A few words of condolence that you've mentioned in the story are hollow and naught, just like you have so beautifully written.

Esther read-requested this piece, and like Margie said, I'm glad she did. Always a pleasure to read something so true and captivating. :)
I hope to find more of the same in your other works!

[GwenLark]

Your review means so much. Thank you

[Verse]

Oh, this one cut to the bone! Just an excellent read, more transcendent than any fairy tale.

V

[GwenLark]

Thank you!

[Kate]

This was a quite touching story. Well done.

[GwenLark]

Thank you!

[Onlyme]

Wow Gwenlark, this is quite a moving, sad and heart-wrenching tale in general. I guess someone somewhere is making this same decision. To end someone life close to them. As they just can not bear the suffering they are dealing with. Makes you want to cry.

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much!

[Neville]

Sadder than sad.... this is like 'Breaking Sad'... a poetic tale indeed and featuring life and love and loss... thoroughly enjoyed in a sad kind of enjoyable way....... Neville

[GwenLark]

Thank you so, so much

[Neville]

sadly my sincere pleasure..

[Rei Cn]

The ending was breathtaking (if you'll ignore the pun), and I love it. I don't mean the ending per se, but how you had written it. While I saw what was coming, your writing style had still given it a touch of suspense in the end. The story in general was catchy.

[GwenLark]

That is so kind of you to say

[Dreamwind]

I loved this! There was such a strong, quiet steady love. It was calming and unlonely.

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much!