The Unexpected Visitor

The Unexpected Visitor

A Story by GwenLark
"

It's always the last person you expect to see

"

The visit didn’t start with a knock to the door or the ring of the doorbell.  It started with a scream, a loud, earth shattering scream.

Maybe she’d been screaming for hours, I didn’t know.

It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t feel my legs.  There was a searing pain running through my head and I could hear a high pitched ringing in my ears.  My eyes were closed but I could tell that the pool of liquid that my cheek was bathing in was my own blood.  The strong metallic taste was warm and bitter.

I could feel myself slipping away.  I couldn’t tell if I was conscious or not.  Everything was heavy and a sense of security and peace surrounded me as my mother’s screaming subsided and I fell into what I could only describe as an abyss of calm, like I was falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I opened my eyes.  I was in my room.  The deep, purple walls surrounded me.  As I gazed around at my abundant bookshelf and my meagre but comforting bed it all felt different, it all looked different even though nothing was out of place.

I walked towards the window that faced out into the simple, suburban street and my eyes fell upon a terrifying sight.

A flock of people, a Mercedes Benz and a limp, lifeless body; my body.

I knew this had to be a dream, a very real dream.  I forced myself to look again.  My mother on her knees, inconsolable, my older sister and brother clutching to her, not daring to look.

My thin, black hair was drenched in a thick crimson and my body was contorted and broken, my face was almost unrecognisable.

I had to wake up.  I closed my eyes, then opened them to find that I was staring at the same scene.  I repeated this process many times only to reveal the same outcome.  A strange feeling niggled at the back of my mind.

“Ashleigh.”

I heard my name being called.  It wasn’t a voice I recognised, it wasn’t my mother lamenting or my siblings screeching.

“Ashleigh.”

I turned around, this dream was becoming more real by the second.

The soft voice was coming from my mother’s room.  I took one last look at the scene below and reluctantly crept into the master bedroom across the hall.

The magnificently bright, cream coloured room is immaculate.  Everything is almost glowing, except for a dark shadow in the armchair in the corner.  An overwhelming fear envelopes me and every one of my senses tells me to run... but I don’t.

The figure shrouded in darkness, silhouetted in the immense sunlight seeping through the bay window, approached me.  I don’t know if it was curiosity or stupidity, but i stood my ground.

A man stood in front of me.  He was clean shaven and adorned a black tailored suit, he was impeccably handsome for a man, I assumed, was in his late 30’s.

He studied me for a moment.

“Ashleigh.” he smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“Uhm, alright, I guess.” I answered, puzzled.

“I would just like to explain some things to you.”  he began to walk over to the armchair again.  As he took a seat he gestured towards the bed next to it.

I silently obliged.

“I would like for you to know that this is not a dream.  This is very real.”

The feeling at the back of my mind began to stir more violently.

“Do you know what has happened?” he asked.

I looked around, everything was gleaming white.  A well of tears burst forth.  I knew this hadn’t been a dream.  The feelings I felt lying on the ground, they were real.  Floods of memories from the split second I saw the car coming around the corner to the unspeakable agony that followed.

I was dead and Death had come to call.

“I can’t be! I’m only nineteen! Please I’ll give you anything! Please send me back!”  I crashed to me knees, I held onto his trouser leg, begging.

“Ashleigh,” he leaned forward and clasped my hands.  His touch was warm and calming.  I looked up and met his gaze.  His kind, brown eyes comforted me in a way words could not.

I sniffed and wiped my eyes.

“I am not doing this to you, I am doing this for you.  This is what is meant to be.”

His words seem to wash away my fear.  It was unexplainable.  He hushed me the way a lullaby would calm a child.

I sat on the floor at his feet.  I thought of all the things in my life.  I thought of all my friends, my work, my university, childhood; every day and every night of my short life seemed to come to mind in a matter of minutes.  Then I thought of my mother.

“What about my mum?  What will she do without me?  Will she be alright?”

“Your mum will be okay.  This is meant to happen Ashleigh.”

He raised me up and we walked hand in hand towards the window.

With a step I found myself on the road where it all ended.

I couldn’t face my body.  The paramedics had delivered the news to my mother.  My pulse was flat and my heart was still.

She had stopped screaming.  Her eyes were glazed over and they looked as dead as mine.

The coroners were now assembling their equipment from the van to take me away.

All I wanted to do was hold her and tell her that everything was going to be fine and that it kills me to see her like this.

Then she looked up at me.  Her face changed, although she couldn’t see me.  I knew she could feel me there.

It wasn’t much comfort, to her, or to me, but it was better than not feeling anything at all.

Then all was quiet.

“We have to go.” He whispered to me.

I glanced at him worriedly.

“Where?”


“Home.”


© 2017 GwenLark



Author's Note

GwenLark
Ignore grammar and spelling. Tell me what you think. Hope you enjoy

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Wow! This is a well crafted, well delivered, excellent story. It had me pulled in, and it never let go. Every phrase, every well placed word kept me enthralled and I just wanted to read more. You have a gift! You need to write a book, because you`re an author!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

That means so, so much! Thank you with all my heart!



Reviews

WOW. Just wow. The third story of yours that I have read so far, and I guess it's now safe to say that your writing is very captivating.

This story required my full attention because I just didn't want to miss anything as I read. I found myself holding on to your​ every sentence. It felt like the story went fast because I was enjoying too much and didn't notice that I had already reached the end. It may not be the most original idea for a story, but your style made it totally yours. :) You're a writer too good for words, dear.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much!
Very clever love it
I'll be back

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy the other stories and poems
Juliespenhere.

3 Months Ago

I will
I'm sure
Wow! This is a well crafted, well delivered, excellent story. It had me pulled in, and it never let go. Every phrase, every well placed word kept me enthralled and I just wanted to read more. You have a gift! You need to write a book, because you`re an author!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

That means so, so much! Thank you with all my heart!
That's incredible...suspense and vigorous descriptive writing...totally enjoyed that. You're good enough to publish books. That is really brilliant!
The twist towards the end as well....awesome !:-)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

You've made my day! Thanks for reading!
Agh! I love this type of writing. I wasn't quite sure what was happening at first, but then the man appeared and said it was real, and I was like, "Yeah, that was her dying. Freaking A."
But for real, the story is great. I loved Death, the way he talked and soothed Ashleigh. Your writing is amazing when dealing with description of character or setting.
I'm not quite sure if this story would be better if it was fleshed out, or keeping it in this format, but either way, it's still amazing. Props to you for your writing.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much for reading! I'll consider rewriting a fleshed out version, to see how it reads
Amazing prose writing as well! A dream? A nightmare? An out of body experience? Absorbing and suspenseful story. Eloquent with great construct, detail, continuity, transition, character development. Emotional, realistic, dramatic. A budding author is heard! Kudos!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

Annette! I fear I will never leave my house again, my head will just be too big to fit through the d.. read more
Annette Pisano Higley

3 Months Ago

Awwww thanks! You have a great talent and I know you will use it well.:)
This was super entertaining to read, you have a really good writing style that's also unique and intriguing for the reader. Good job!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

That is amazing to hear! Thank you so much for reading
This is mesmerizing. Iwant to read it again ans then read more. Nice.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GwenLark

3 Months Ago

I haven't thus far considered turning this into a fuller read. What do you think?
Frankie

3 Months Ago

Definitely. You have obvious skill. Im humbled.
GwenLark

3 Months Ago

You are far too kind :) Thank you

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

283 Views
8 Reviews
Added on September 4, 2017
Last Updated on September 8, 2017
Tags: unexpected visitor, visitor, ashleigh, twist, death, surprise, home, accident, young girl, teen

Author

GwenLark
GwenLark

Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom



About
Just exploring my boundaries. I love writing and I love reading other's creations. Just starting out. more..

Writing
Too Much Too Much

A Poem by GwenLark


Room 325 Room 325

A Story by GwenLark