Addict

Just a story that popped into my head.

I heard the guitar chords before him. His mom said he’d be on the roof; he had been there a while. She gave me two freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, hoping that I could coax him to eat something. The cookies were warm and squished in my hand as I lifted up the window and stepped out. And there he was, his red hair glinting in the sun, which had gone down in the sky to about a halfway point. I felt the urge to tell him everything, the stories, the songs, the letters, everything I wrote for him. I wanted to hug him until all the anger, the angst evaporated, and he smiled again. But he left me breathless, so I settled with ‘hi.’ He stared right through. “Hey.”

I looked at the ground. “Mary told me what happened. With Carmen.”

He slammed his hand against the guitar then, making an odd bitter chord. I jumped, but he didn’t see. Or care. He swore silently, bending over his guitar. Went to sit beside him, looking ahead to the sunset. “You mom gave me cookies. She thought you might be hungry.”

“I’m not.”

I studied my feet again. “You… want to talk about it?”

He turned to face me, taking in my flushed face and nervous eyes. “No. I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

He sighed, leaning his head on my shoulder. “I really liked her Cal. I was gonna tell her… well, you know. And then she…”

“B***h.”

He smiled just a bit then, and my heart melted. “That’s not very ladylike.”

“I never acclaimed I was. So, are you going to survive?”

The smile disappeared. “I don’t know, Cal. She took away a good part of my heart.”

“Everything heals with time. You’re only human.”

“You never did like her, did you?”

I blushed. “No.”

He looked down at me. “Why?”

“She took you away from me.” I looked down. “And you aren’t the only one with the knack of falling in love with the wrong person.”

His eyes flooded with confusion and fear. “What are you trying to say?”

He didn’t want me to say it I knew, so I held back. I pressed my lips in a thin line and looked down at my pocket watch, flipping it open to look at the time. “I have to go.”

He caught my arm “Cal wait.” He sighed “I’m sorry…” He faded awkwardly, avoiding my eye. “If I’d have known…”

“Then what?” I yanked my arm out of his grip, and he seemed relieved that he didn’t have to say anymore. “You were gonna do what exactly? Kiss me? Avoid me in the hallways? Go to church and pray to your precious God to make it all better?” He cringed. We had an unspoken promise to keep religions away from topics of conversations. We had had very few arguments debating the existence of God; both from a Christian and Atheists point of view, and all of them had ended badly. I had crossed the line and he was hurt because of it. It gave me a sick pleasure. “I gave you everything. My trust, my soul, my laughter, my heart and if you don’t want it, I will be more than happy to take them back. But I have to warn you, there’s no take backs.”

He was silent, thoughtful by the look on his face. “When did this happen?” He murmured, looking up at the crescent moon.

I rolled my eyes, sick of guessing what he meant “When did what happen Oli?”

“Your…infatuation.”

I blushed and looked down, unable to meet his eyes.“After the camping trip” I admitted quietly “After that night…”

He turned to me, his eyes fierce “You haven’t told anyone have you?” I shook my head quickly, and he relaxed, slumping down and resting his upper back on the house. From this position he looked much older. “Cal, I thought we agreed that it was our secret. Like it never happened…”

I jumped up, staring at him in mock incredulously “Never happened? Was I that bad?” I couldn’t resist making a joke. He didn’t smile, so slowly mine faded. “I’m sorry if it was the biggest regret of your life but that doesn’t mean it never happened. And besides” I smirked “You didn’t seem so opposed of it that night…”

He sighed “I don’t even remember that night Cal. We were drunk and stupid”

I remembered it. I remember his moans and could still feel the bruises he made as he clutched my hips tighter. I could still remember my justifications before hand “It’s just practice for Cam…” I turned away, feeling dirtier than ever, like I had molested him or something. “It wasn’t the sex Ol.” I muttered, wishing the blush in my cheeks would go away.

“Really?”

I growled out of frustration. “Do you really think that I’m that shallow? I don’t fall in love with people because they’re good in bed.”

“Then what was it?”

I ducked my head, not wanting to say it, but not knowing anyway to convince him otherwise. “ You… held me afterwards. And our skin glinted in the moonlight and for once I realized just how beautiful we were together.” I remember the way our limbs softly entwined, his ivory skin and my dark brown tones didn’t clash like they so often did when I compared our reflections, but complimented each other in an abstract Picasso sort of way.

He snorted, and for an instant I question how I ever thought this guy was sensitive, then he stared into space, his brow furrowed, as if trying to recall something. He finally looked at me, sorrowful “I wish I could remember… Maybe if I did we could… I’m sorry.” It was then that he started quietly sobbing, breaking into a million pieces, as if he were the victim, the one who was hurting. And instinctively I put my arms around him because the worse part was:

I couldn’t let go.

 

  

Author's Note

Don't be afraid to critisize or point out writing mistakes. I need some constuctive critisizm!

Reviews

[GBU POETRY ONLY]

Acquited love is a b***h and "Addict" confirmed just that..
Loved the Picasso reference and what a SUPERB ending..
You pulled on my heartstrings Satchmo Gal..
GBU
PS: (mistakes?) Acclaimed ~~~ Claimed ...
Also, I'm not too sure that the taboo heated religious subject
fits here in the story. It takes away from the build up of
Cal's love confession but again, building the guy's character is valid..
So, take it as you will.. Again, you took me on a very emotional
journey that I can fully relate to.. thanks again! GBU

[candycandy791]

I really liked it

[Angel's Lady]

Is Cal a boy, too? I liked the story, a lot!
And I didn't find any mistakes!
Great write!

[ZaZa]

Very well written. I enjoyed it very much.