Sunshine

 

 

Sunshine

 

I stayed in hell thinking

    I could wait it out.

   Stay busy

til it played itself out.

Then the spasm

    next the seizure

      and the lights go out.

Still nothing to write about.

   Until I think about

        my good times on the surface

           in the sun.

How I miss my sunshine.

Reviews

[Randall Richard]

this was hard for me to relate too, i got the feel for what you were portraying, but many of your images are a bit overused, which for me often makes me reflect on other, lesser pieces that i have read, and distracts me from your theme. it's not bad, but with more original, personal language it could be better. i hate to critique something so personal if it is written from personal experience, but i think you could personalise this, put a face on the body

[Robert Luna]

Very deep thinking piece. I am sure this will stir up so thoughts in your readers head. So glad to see something new from you have been concerned about you.

[John Stussy]

Very powerful, I read it twice to look at all it has in it. It is extremely effective, you explain such great pain in so few words. Great job!

[Gandré]

This is wonderful...So deep within few lines....completely engrossing. my fav. lines:


I stayed in hell
thinking
I could wait it out.
Stay busy til
it played itself out.