Garage Sale Poetry: Bam's poem

It was for a contest using certain words

Garage Sale Poetry: Bam’s Poem

 

 

This is not happening.

The limo ride there only

Fueled my apprehension.

Your cold hands grasping mine didn’t help.

I wanted to ask

Where I was going.

I wanted to hear another reason

Why we were together.

I wanted to hear something other than

what I knew.

 

I really don’t want to be here.

 

Bright lights beam and

hollow eyes stare lifelessly.

Pictures taken

capture more than the moment.

With every click of the camera

I feel like something has been

taken from me.

 

Mundane and repetitive

this has become.

Still you cling to me

like it’s the first time

the first day.

 

Dimly lit for ambiance

I want to find a seat

In the back

But you insist on one

in plain view.

 

People I don’t know

But somehow

recognize.

Eating the same food

with the same smile

saying the same thing.

 

An announcement is made

four names are called out but

I only hear mine.

 

The drum roll escalates and

my heart does the same.

Not from excitement but

the fear of being seen

 

…and then it happens.

 

The supposed surprise of the evening

My name and yours

followed by clapping sounds

and envious smiles.

     The evening ends with

black balloons

falling like swooping ravens

that die on contact.

How I envy that thought.

 

Lying on my back

looking at the ceiling.

I realize I’ll never leave here

because I died along  time ago.

You’ve become my undertaker

keeping me well preserved

And filling in your own words.

Like your favorite wax figure.

or conversation piece.

This house has become a mausoleum

and my ceiling the roof of my coffin.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Again ...it was for a contest,,,,,,post hurricane Kosner that is.

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Woah...... this is deep, dark and wonderful. I want it. I'm the first annoying here before the sale starts garage sale attendee.... and I'm offering you no more than $200. Take it or leave it. Either way, it's going into my favorites.. so : P

[Tenten]

there is something about this one that is elegantly painful and has the effect of making the next words cause a little bit more pain. one of your most captivating works, i like this one.

[Pema Dorje]

Fame sucks ... the line, 'I wanted to hear something other than what I knew.' plumbs the psychological depth of the writer as observer and is a brilliancy in this Poem. I've often seen Houses as places of the dead. My story also alludes to this insight you've had. http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/AlchemiA/133467/

You have depth and a lyrical style and your Poetry has punch. I like the experiment here ...

[*** Hey Jude***]

This was filled with methaphors that expressed your emotions wonderfully. I really like the way you choose to use the words necessary to paint an amazing poem. This is a contest winner in my book! ~ Jude

[James Mayfield]

Sounds like an odd mix of prom and papparazzi. It was nicely done in my opinion. I enjoyed it.

[Robert Luna]

Glad to see the creative juices are still a flowing with you. It is so hard for me to walk away from a piece and not total rewrite the whole thing because I am i a different place than when I first wrote it. LOL but I guess you about that as well. Very enjoyable piece and the weight of the scene was thought provoking as I am still thinking about it.


Well Done!!!!!

[T. L. O'Neal]

This is a good piece and I can see where you're coming from too. I've been there in the past and it's pure misery. The last stanza is the real kicker and conveys the desperation and hopelessness of the character. Great. T

[Lydia Shutter]

Devastatingly real emotions expressed here, HAM. The imagery of the limo becoming a hearse stuck out in my mind...almost a story of a political dinner that drones on and on or a sort of prom where the king and queen actually hate each other in the privacy of their own homes. Intriguing to say the very least! Will your words go to the highest bidder? If so, I bid five black balloons and psychedelic flashing lights. Very enjoyable! Lydia