The Song

The Song

A Poem by Jared Michael Smith
"

This is one of the most personal poems I have ever written. It came to me when my grandfather passed away of cancer a few years ago. :( I actually read the original version at his funeral.

"
I hear the beat of music,
Playing rather slow,
A violin, the clarinet,
And even a faint piano.

But it grows much weaker now,
Slowing ever more,
The sound a failing whisper,
Quiet echo of the roar.

Now the instruments are silent,
The air as still as stone,
No more sweeping symphonies,
And no more tricky tones.

The musicians take a final bow,
Their hearts not quite as strong,
And memories fill my throbbing head,
As I begin to miss that song.

But all songs have an end,
'Tis only just and right,
So as I leave this empty place again,
I say a soft "Good Night."

© 2013 Jared Michael Smith


Author's Note

Jared Michael Smith
More revisions... I couldn't help myself, my writer's instinct just did NOT like some of the phrasings, but the meaning is still there.

My Review

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Featured Review

The idea is really good - its very awe inspiring, if that is the effect you were going for? I never fiddle with my poems once they're done, so I wouldn't change anything, but maybe you like to revise them now and then. If that is the case, then maybe you should redo the last stanza, its not rhyming like all the others. Having said that, this poem has really touched me, heck it has silenced me, cant really find words to describe how I feel. Its haunting.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

The last stanza originally ended with the lines "So I leave this empty place again/And say a soft 'G.. read more
Sherry

10 Years Ago

not a problem, enjoyed reading it, you have a very Poe-ish feel.
Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much! That is one of the highest compliments to me! Poe is my FAVORITE author! XD .. read more



Reviews

An absolutely beautiful poem; thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read it! Congratulations for earning a spot in my contest! It was amazingly phrased and the imagery painted such a perfect picture.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Well, thank YOU for reading it and placing it in your contest. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I absolutely love all of your writings! Very meaningful and deep as well as relatable on a certain level! I could definitely feel emotion in your poem and I like how touching it is and I can feel the sadness covering your words, great writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and could feel the real emotion I wanted these words t.. read more
I love this. Your lines speak to me and I can feel all the sadness.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much. :)
liked this one very much, it does have poe like tinge, which is a very good thing in my book!


Posted 10 Years Ago


Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Thanks! This one really did come from the heart, so I'm glad you like it. :-)
The idea is really good - its very awe inspiring, if that is the effect you were going for? I never fiddle with my poems once they're done, so I wouldn't change anything, but maybe you like to revise them now and then. If that is the case, then maybe you should redo the last stanza, its not rhyming like all the others. Having said that, this poem has really touched me, heck it has silenced me, cant really find words to describe how I feel. Its haunting.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

The last stanza originally ended with the lines "So I leave this empty place again/And say a soft 'G.. read more
Sherry

10 Years Ago

not a problem, enjoyed reading it, you have a very Poe-ish feel.
Jared Michael Smith

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much! That is one of the highest compliments to me! Poe is my FAVORITE author! XD .. read more

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507 Views
5 Reviews
Added on October 18, 2013
Last Updated on October 22, 2013
Tags: song, death, music, musicians

Author

Jared Michael Smith
Jared Michael Smith

About
I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy who enjoys composing poetry, playing video games, and drawing portraits. I don't think my writing's that good, but some of the people I have had read tell me otherwise... more..

Writing