Yesterday I Swallowed the Ocean Whole

Yesterday I swallowed the ocean whole,

As if I could claim it as my own,

And suffered quite a long night

With the salt echoing in my ears.

 

I may have gotten sea-sick,

But it didn’t matter

Because I was already sick

 

And had been standing open-mouthed on the shores for years

With the longing to drown.

Reviews

[Cord Moreski]

Wow, both your imagery and metaphors are magnificent. I really like the analogy you make between the ocean and yourself, and I am pretty certain that the "rust" has washed away with the tides. Great job, Hayley, and thank you for your read request.

-Cord

[Hayley]

Thank you; I really appreciate it!

[The Cobra Lounge]

This is an epiphany of life. Standing there waiting to be knocked down by some tidal wave, and if lucky we will drown...ending the misery. It sounds so pathetic and desperate...yet I understand if fully.

The sickness will pass...promise. xo

[Hayley]

Thanks, Muse.. I can only hope..

[Jack...]

Beautiful simply beautiful. Poetry is like riding a bike, keep pedaling and eventually you will get somewhere.

[Clockwork]

I'm not really sure what it is about this poem, but I find it to be hypnotizing in a way. It could be the idea of swallowing the ocean, or just the way you progress through the idea. The poem really strikes a cord with me, especially the way you end it.

[Art]

nice work Hayley...the vastness of the Oceans can leave one literally feeling that longing to become part of its entirety...even with the sickness you have exposed the emotion is still grasping...nice

[Hayley]

Thank you!

[not here]

Rusty?
This is fine - just fine as a poem.
I like the structure, with the number of lines descending.
Plus, to overstate the obvious, your line about salt echoing in your ears is marvellously poetic.
And because I'm such a minimalist at times, I re-read your poem without the middle stanza and liked it all the more.
Thanks for sharing, Hayley

[Moflo]

Love the imagery, definitely. You imply a deeper story that you leave entirely to the suspicion of the reader and I think that truly makes a timeless piece. I love the blend of realism and absurdity as well. Great job.

[Diego Paz]

Came across this piece per chance, glad that I did... A good poem.

Diego

[Jvl narasimharao]

When you are prepared to meet the worst, nobody can stop you.A wonderful and inspirational poem

[Nikunj Rathod]

it was really nice!

[Lily Mae]

No way are you a little rusty..this is spot on awesome.. I love it.. Your creativity and wording are perfect..xo