I am the Atheist of Spring

I am the atheist of spring

     I fled Her

     And She fled me

  

     Like Her nightly passes 

     Over doors brushed with lamb’s blood

     She chants “Judas, Judas”

     Looks for a son

(Does Her cross lie in a bed of blossoms?

  It is hidden just as I)

     I paint my tendril arms in poppies 

     As the lamb for Her slaughter

     She pauses

     “Bring life to this one

      For she is more dead than my brother”

Reviews

[Nautili]

oh my....very interesting. Spring and her promises of new life (and love perhaps) has betrayed you and left you an unbeliever in her charms. I love the last lines denoting that you are more dead than winter, that is so powerful!
It makes you wonder about her cross hidden in the flowers....for those who do not feel her rejuvenation powers, it could be that-the pain of not feeling more alive in the Springtime. But still, you paint your arms as poppies, so hope rests at the bottom of your well. There is a depth to this poem that really merits much thought. I loved it.

[The Cobra Lounge]

You take a religious message with a strong metaphor and flip it on it's head. What a fascinating poem. I could go a million different directions with this.

I really enjoyed your brief moment of reflection...

(Does Her cross lie in a bed of blossoms?

It is hidden just as I)


You are brilliant my Dear.

[Jo March]

Love the allusions to Pharaoh and the killing of the first borns, and Judas.
Very confusing and intricate. A few readings were required.

[writing mojo]

nice flow and i like the religious ego tones pious as the sacrifice of the self reflection condoned. You caught my attention with the first stanza, then kept bumping around a tempo with such graceful denominational dimensional metaphors..love the symbolism

[Mercelus]

After a barren winter they change in weather can greatly affect your moods.
allow for you to start seeing in a more positive way, But some winters never end.
very much enjoyed the play on words with the title being "athiest of spring" and using bible verses. very good write.

[Beau Peyton]

beautiful and profound...well done.

[JustLorry]

Beautiful write.Great flow and use of language.Just like promises, not all come to fruition.

[ChaoticSoul]

Your writing always possesses this beautiful, classic feel. It's something I feel could stand the test of time, like all the great poets in the anthologies. I really like the way you took the usual "fresh new outlook" idea of spring and twisted it into something else. This piece is very clever and creative with the different factors you bring together into the overall structure. It's a really wonderful read.

[MOON]

I like how you used bilical lines to emphasise your point.

[Haz]

I like parallels between intimate personal tragedy and mass epic tragedy, which this evokes beautifully with its religious wording and use of the season spring. I say mass tragedy, as it makes me think of Israel and Jerusalem's current daily conflicts, amongst the very singular one that you portrayed.

Your lines are all perfect, like you found them somewhere always fully formed, rather than wrote them.

[Joshua Randall]

Wording is incredible.