Black and Red

I don't usually write such long poems so I've tried to keep the structure varied and unrepetitive without losing the line. All feedback is much appreciated.

 

Black & Red

I don’t know what to do,
I’d vow my loyalty if you cared for it,
I’d surrender my heart if you needed it,
My words seem so pointless,
And my heart has no use to you.

I place a finger inside the candle’s flame,
It flickers, unsure of my touch,
Golden with promises,
Crimson with passion,
Amber with longing,
Violet with desperation for a rescue.

I throw a stone into the dark water,
It ripples, running away from me,
Indigo with fear,
Jade with anticipation,
Grey with astonishment,
Lilac with the inertia of everything.

I wish I could escape this,
I’d run out the door if I hadn’t lost the key,
I’d shatter the glass if I had any strength left,
You open the door for me,
You say “Leave if you want”,
I won’t leave on your terms.

I wish I could make this better,
I’d make you talk about it if I had any chance,
I’d make you listen if you were at all capable,
You throw me out the door,
You scream “I don’t need you!”
Proving that you’re still black.

I don’t understand this,
I’d pledge my allegiance if there was a fight,
I’d swear my whole world if you wanted a home,
But you run from battle,
And our worlds don’t overlap.

I lick the blood from this seeping bullet wound,
I tremble, at the metallic taste,
Now all I see is red,
Now all I see is red,
Now all I see is red,
And my world blends, until it’s all scarlet mist.

 Now I see that all that’s inside of me is red,
Do you see, as you examine me?
I cannot stop myself,
Maybe people don’t change,
Maybe we can’t help it,
Because all I see is red, and you are only black.

I wish I could make this better,
But to add colour would mean to change you,
And I won’t ruin the black hole you’ve preserved,
Who am I to ruin it?
With these feeble tears,
Disappear into space.

I wish I could make this better,
But there’s no way to cause the landslide,
There’s no way to remove the taste of venom,
You claim you’re so happy,
Your hollow soul can’t lie,
Not like the rest of you.

I don’t see a way out,
I’d promise you sanctuary if you’d just look at me,
I’d open my soul to you if you had open eyes,
But you stand in the storm,
And refuse to look up.