Regarding mother dearest

a poem about a subject i've stayed silent about until now

Mother, 

i thank you

for filling my ears with your propaganda

 and bullshit about what a terrible father my dad is. 

I know he isn't, I don't need your opinion. 

I am ever so grateful

for every day you make me feel worthless, inadequate, not good enough. 

you increased my guilt, '

opened up old wounds I wanted to forget. 

I left you on Mother's day. 

I began to regret it, 

and you continue to make me feel like s**t 

even though it was years ago. 

You invalidate my feelings, 

and force me to see a psych even when I don't want to. 

Mother dearest, don't you ever wonder why Matthew left?

You drove him over the edge. 

You criticized his lack of belief in God. 

You used him like you've used me. 

You blame everyone else in your life for your mistakes. 

Maybe next time we're alone, 

i'll point you to a mirror. 

But I fear you. 

I fear the consequences of speaking up, or disagreeing. 

Because clearly you know best, you know everything. 

You don't. 

You refuse to acknowledge my weight. You brush it aside and pretend that i'm not fighting to eat regularly. 

You blame me for my problems. 

You think i'm a burden to my best friend, 

and for years, i've believed it myself. 

But i'll learn to listen to him before you.

Reviews

[Richard Patrick]

I can relate, your mother does not know. Who you really are?
The person you have held yourself in regard to should be, you.
No one can see what you go through. The life, that you live
should allow you to see. The beauty you be, we are all beautiful.
Our image is what we are, but that is only one way to look at you.
Look at what you have achieved. The beauty in each of us. Are seen
by our friends. The people we rely on as our friends are that.

They see the beauty that you be. No one is you, but you. Your beleif is
that you are worthy of love. You are. Who do you see in the mirror. The only
one is you. The sun shines, the birds sing, they do this for they are god's
beings. You are also one of god's beings, we are here by his blessing to do what
we do.

Sincerely

Richard Patrick Edwards

[Willard Wells]

After your response to my work, this title spoke to me and it was correct. Well done and painful.

The important thing and I see some of it in this piece, is to believe in yourself. Everyone has an opinion and is does not matter. Your belief in yourself is what makes the difference. You can not find love until you can love yourself.

I want you to have hearts in February. Peace Out.

[Mark]

A well written portrait of a relationship with a dysfunctional parent. It's so hard to see the way out when we're trapped in the middle of it isn't it? I hope you escape the mire and find balance.

[Philip Muls]

Hi Aislinn. Be your own person. Leave all the guilt behind and find your self worth not in the past but in the present. Take care.

[Jim Gill III]

The pain in your poem is palpable, you easily drew me into your story. Title is clever. Did you use a lowercase "i" in the second line on purpose. If so, there are a number of ways to interpret that. Very thought provoking. I hope it was cathartic for you.

[WillGrant]

A lot of anger and emotions here. I remember when these feelings were strong within me. I think you hit a cord here with how teens feel about their parents during a specific time in their life. My father and I would go round and round sometimes. I don't really know why that was. Me trying to become my own person and break from under his wing maybe. A struggle I felt had to take place for me to become me. I don't know. Good powerful piece that captures that struggle though. Even if that struggle for me was only one sided. Good work. Look forward to reading more.

[Morgan Yai]

I like how straightforward this is. It reminds me a lot of one of my best friends. Though I can't directly relate to this, I know there are many people who could. I commend you for writing this. Keep up the good work and stay strong. You're doing great. :)