Heaven Doesn't Seem So Far Away Anymore.

Heaven Doesn't Seem So Far Away Anymore.

A Poem by Hillary A
"

Random poem I wrote.

"

Heaven doesn't seem so far away anymore.

when I'm holding you closer than anyone has before
I believe you've kept everything inside about how you feel
But your love doesn't hide when there's nothing to fear
I've counted the days before i met you
Multiplied it by 10 and that's how long I plan on staying together
It's amazing how clear you make me see
And now I know our love was an accident meant to be
You were the crash, I was the concrete
And we both came together in a single tragedy.

I believe with my entire being there's no one else like you on this planet
But now i realize angels don't come only after you've passed
You're the only one who's taken me to places no one's been before
And now that i have you heaven doesn't seem so far away anymore.

© 2009 Hillary A


Author's Note

Hillary A
I was just feeling a little creative. Any good?

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Reviews

I feel horrible for this being the first thing I ever say to you, but no.
I do like this.
I don't like prose.
You pulled together a Hallmark poem.
This is prose.
There is a difference.
You have a sentiment behind it that helps guide it, although I felt your rhymes were forced and you'd have been better off choosing a free-style format rather than this 'poetic' format.
Your imagery and line structure were good; the particular line that caught my attention was "You were the crash, I was the concrete".
BEAUTIFUL imagery!
What would make this a poem would be to remove the sentence structure and make them lines.
I know that that makes no distinction between the two, but lines in poetry often don't have complete punctuation, a complete subject-verb-info structure, nor the feeling of an essay.
I hate chopping lines myself, and I'd rather you didn't edit this, because I think if you tried it would erase the sentiment that holds this together.
I'm just letting you know so in the future, if you're interested in rhyming format, you have a little guidance.
:]


Posted 14 Years Ago


This is a beautifully written work. Could even imagine this as a song. I like the part about you were the crash I was the concrete.

Posted 14 Years Ago


i really enjoyed reading this. I liked it because to me it was really like reading a poem. I could see it as a note or a card you would write to one you love. I see it as non traditional, i know thats not a great explanation and i don't really know technical terms, but it was different. It was easy to read and wasn't overly slushy but it was deep at the same time. Thank you

Posted 14 Years Ago


THat is a very sweet poem. Very passionate. Well-written. Is this an imagined or real happenstance? If it's real did you show it to the person, I'm sure they'd simply adore it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Great write friend.
This wasn't soppy or overly dramatic like many love poems.
Wonderfully written & how you tie it all up the title was wonderful.
Can't find any faults here, beautiful write.

Yours truly,
cloud6

Posted 14 Years Ago


really sweet poem, so emotional :)
good written.
thanks for sharing ;)

//Akina

Posted 14 Years Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on May 28, 2009

Author

Hillary A
Hillary A

Nashville, TN



About
My name is Hillary. I'm a writer at heart and currently working on a novel. This story is my entire creativity into words, whether that be sad or not, and I'd really appreciate any feedback on it. Tha.. more..

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