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Little Miss Muffet,2014

Little Miss Muffet,2014

A Poem by Gee

Updated version of an old English nursery rhyme

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a farmer,
a right rustic charmer,
who immediately wooed, made a play.

He plied her with wine,
"have more you'll be fine,"
before hiding his sausage inside,
then when he was done having his fun,
he left thanking her for the ride.


Pregnant Miss Muffet is having to rough it
'cos dads thrown her out on the street,
and the smooth rustic charmer who did this to harm her
has legged it, was quick on his feet.

So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered.

© 2017 Gee

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Featured Review

That's a great little piece of whimsy. It would be so much better if you arranged it in stanzas though.

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
When along came a farmer, a right rustic charmer,
Who immediately wooed, made a play.

Posted 3 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

andrew mitchell

2 Years Ago

Nice to see you visit David lol keeping an eye on things lol:)
Great Aunt Astri

10 Months Ago

And, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, .. read more

10 Months Ago

Again thank you


I love it! A poor, grim future for Miss Muffet :( With a positive moral that others could take away and learn. You Gee, may have birthed a new genre "Highschool rhymes" :) Would love to see more takes on nursery rhymes in this style.

Posted 1 Day Ago


1 Day Ago

Cheers. Have had a pop at humpty and Georgie Porgie
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wow! this is a very good real life depiction of what does and should not happen; how many young women and men could be empowered by this message

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 Month Ago

Thank you..
This certainly caught me by surprise, and I almost clicked past it before doing a double-take. This was a great portrayal of an ever present problem :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


2 Months Ago

Cheers Brock, you did well to dig this one up. Brock.......badger !!
Sometimes we can see symbolism in ordinary things or even omens or even sighs as well. I like this poem about that.

Posted 5 Months Ago


5 Months Ago

Thank you..
Nice take on an old idea!

Posted 5 Months Ago


5 Months Ago

hilariously repenned and in reading the reviews gee, i have to agree with david lewis paget he really nailed the natural rests in it but as i said really, really funny

Posted 7 Months Ago


7 Months Ago

Thank you kindly
I take it you have made a ton of teases on nursery rhymes! This is hilarious. If you have done so, I suggest you compile them into your own Roald Dahl style Revolting Rhymes collection. They're too funny to keep hidden or stored on social sites. Well done!

Posted 9 Months Ago


9 Months Ago

I only did a few of them and have never really thought about having a pop at some of the other nurse.. read more
Such wit seems to be one of your trademarks. Wit with a strong social element. Who would have thunk it? It works very well.

Posted 9 Months Ago


9 Months Ago

Cheers Ken...
Oh how could you do this to poor old little Miss Muffet. What did she ever do to harm you.? It was just a spider that sat down beside her! But I thought your poem was really brilliant! May all young girls who meet a 'right rustic charmer' take note!

Posted 10 Months Ago


10 Months Ago

Thank you, glad you enjoyed
expert rhyming - not so much as a syllabub orf !
Pure you this is Gee - from what I've read.
What is a tuffet anyway? lol

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 Year Ago

Funny you should ask, a tuffet is the daughter of a tuff....cheers Tony
Tony Jordan

1 Year Ago

and a buffet? (mr buff)

1 Year Ago

Funny you should ask, ''tis a spread of food served to the masses, finger food, you know the shite a.. read more

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21 Reviews
Added on December 20, 2014
Last Updated on July 28, 2017
Tags: sex, wine, moral



Milton keynes, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom

No airs and graces, just a simple fella posting simple words. more..


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