Little Miss Muffet,2014

Updated version of an old English nursery rhyme

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a farmer,
a right rustic charmer,
who immediately wooed, made a play.

He plied her with wine,
"have more you'll be fine,"
before hiding his sausage inside,
then when he was done having his fun,
he left thanking her for the ride.

NOW.............

Pregnant Miss Muffet is having to rough it
'cos dads thrown her out on the street,
and the smooth rustic charmer who did this to harm her
has legged it, was quick on his feet.

So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered.

Author's Note

An oldie given an airing

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

That's a great little piece of whimsy. It would be so much better if you arranged it in stanzas though.

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
When along came a farmer, a right rustic charmer,
Who immediately wooed, made a play.

[Gee]

Have just this moment finished reading one of your poems,brilliant.Haven't got a clue what a stanza is,thought it was a German tank,but will take on board any comments,advice you can shovel my way.Thanks for reading.

[ANTO]

Stanzas are groups of lines usually Gee mate - verses, we might call them too, as David kindly shows an example (a 4 line group/stanza) - they aid the reader and make the work look good. Presentation is part of the whole package.

[Gee]

Cheers Anto.I suppose I should take more notice of the presentation,no good putting a t**d in an Armani suit,wouldn't give the required effect.It's good that people like yourself actually offer advice and don't just read,think"that's shite"but then post a comment to massage the ego of the poet.Keep up the good work.

[ANTO]

Thats a nice thing to say mate - Its hard to critique without fearing blowing out the flame Gee - but we are all learning mate, if you want you can PM me and I'll show you some sites I use to learn.

[Gee]

Might well take you up on that in the future,depends on how frustrated I get with myself.With regards to reviewing I tend to shy away from speaking my mind because people very rarely want any negativity,constructive or not,whereas I'm at an age where it doesn't bother my arse.To use an extremely over used and seldom meant"Americanism",have a good day.

[ANTO]

No problems - your welcome

[andrew mitchell]

Nice to see you visit David lol keeping an eye on things lol:)

[Great Aunt Astri]

And, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, I liked your poem just the way you wrote it!!!!!!

[Gee]

Again thank you

[Blu]

wow! this is a very good real life depiction of what does and should not happen; how many young women and men could be empowered by this message

[Gee]

Thank you..

[Brock Scholte]

This certainly caught me by surprise, and I almost clicked past it before doing a double-take. This was a great portrayal of an ever present problem :)

[Gee]

Cheers Brock, you did well to dig this one up. Brock.......badger !!

[Norah]

Sometimes we can see symbolism in ordinary things or even omens or even sighs as well. I like this poem about that.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[House]

Nice take on an old idea!

[Gee]

Cheers....

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

hilariously repenned and in reading the reviews gee, i have to agree with david lewis paget he really nailed the natural rests in it but as i said really, really funny

[Gee]

Thank you kindly

[emipoemi]

I take it you have made a ton of teases on nursery rhymes! This is hilarious. If you have done so, I suggest you compile them into your own Roald Dahl style Revolting Rhymes collection. They're too funny to keep hidden or stored on social sites. Well done!

[Gee]

I only did a few of them and have never really thought about having a pop at some of the other nursery rhymes.
Thank you (again) for your kind words

[Ken Simm.]

Such wit seems to be one of your trademarks. Wit with a strong social element. Who would have thunk it? It works very well.

[Gee]

Cheers Ken...

[Great Aunt Astri]

Oh how could you do this to poor old little Miss Muffet. What did she ever do to harm you.? It was just a spider that sat down beside her! But I thought your poem was really brilliant! May all young girls who meet a 'right rustic charmer' take note!

[Gee]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed

[Tony Jordan]

expert rhyming - not so much as a syllabub orf !
Pure you this is Gee - from what I've read.
What is a tuffet anyway? lol

[Gee]

Funny you should ask, a tuffet is the daughter of a tuff....cheers Tony

[Tony Jordan]

Lmao
and a buffet? (mr buff)

[Gee]

Funny you should ask, ''tis a spread of food served to the masses, finger food, you know the shite always left spread over tables and floors at cheap skate weddings.....or, my daughter...

[Lorry]

Love it. It's about time the classics were modernised for todays market. Little red riding hoodie, Jack and Jill going on the pill, Oh, I better stop now before they come take me away.

[Gee]

Right lets get on it, I've done Georgie Porgie and Humpty Dumpty, I'll have a go at Jack and Jill.....thanks for reading, reviewing