A Widows Request

So many find it so hard to be around the newly bereaved.

Please come visit, often, as before...
bring no gifts, flowers, only friendship.
Bring not trepidation or awkwardness,
as it is circumstance and not I that have changed.
Bring me not your sadness and heavy heart,
as these at present I own by right.
Instead bring memories,
memories of good times spent.
Speak his name but without hesitation or fear,
as that will never die unless allowed.
Reminisce with stories, laughter, smiles,
and this will be my comfort.
And if you do this he will live on,
in our hearts and minds.
Please come visit, and often...

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Oh yes, yes, yes! I have two young-ish friends who would so much appreciate your empathic yet logical words... and in fact, so would my sister who suddenly but years ago was widowed....

To never talk of a person who's left this world denies that he or she was ever in it, ever existed, surely. One has to guage the widow or widower's character i suppose but, a small mention often prompt a reaction that shows how and what to do. Being alone at bedtime or at dawn is a daily reminder of how one's future might be.

Sorry, have NOT (forgive omission of that word) talked of your beautiful poem's content and reflection... rather than the gentle way in which you've laid the words, the way in which you inspire thoughts and possible actions.. Beautifully put... and yes.. visit.. often..

[Gee]

Thank you EmmaJ.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

bring no gifts, no flowers, only friendship.
circumstance for circumspect.
and i have not changed.
your sadness, your heavy heart...
bring me memories
speak his name, without...
with laughter, with smiles...
If you do this...
Holy s**t what a fantastic piece of hearbreaking imagination, coupled as always with your specific style i really appreciate this as it is, as it was penned. i also know you don't do vanity projects and welcome critique as i and believe me i re read this like four times and made a special connection to the words and flow. my opinion above hopefully makes you smile in that understanding that i absolutely love this poem and want it to shine, it deserves it's time in the light. my father and mother both gone at a tender age and i can tell you through personal attachment and experience this poem is indeed an important find. the message is loud and clear. thanks for writing this gee

[Gee]

Cheers Joshua. Suppose I'm a strange fish in that I'm a little uncomfortable with praise especially as I'm still amazed that fill enjoy reading the writing I post.
You are extremely generous in your reviews and it is very much appreciated.
Thank you

[Natasha Zoya]

Often times when people speak of the dead it's always with sorrow but in this poem it's asking for the person to speak of the dead as someone who is living through memory.

[Gee]

Thank you Natasha

[Norman 223]

From practical experience, I know this to be true. Even in bereavement there is still a normal person, provided they are treated as such. A gentle joke, evoking a memory works wonders. Fear of contact becomes self perpetuating on both sides.
A clever poem, Gee with a deep practical message.

[Gee]

I think the bereaved crave normality but end up with large doses of awkwardness.
Thank you Norman

[KBW]

Beautifully written. Heart goes out to you if written from personal experience. Loss is a hard thing. Keep on writing my friend.

[Gee]

Thank you...

[KBW]

No problem. God bless.

[Tony Jordan]

Death is an oft touched upon subject in writing of all genres but this aspect of it - the deep feelings of those who wish to console is seldom written of, in my experience.
The choice of topic speaks volumes of the humanity of the poet here and the quality of the words speaks volumes of the skills of the poet.
Well handled Gee.
Top poem!

[Gee]

Cheers buddy. Strange how people p***y foot around those grieving, well to me it is. I think normality is all they crave and not the awkwardness that trying to avoid what has happened brings. And believe it or not I do normal very well, with a dash of light hearted and silly thrown in for good measure. Hope all is well on the Emerald Isle

[Tony Jordan]

Gee it's people like you that gets the families of the bereaved through these hard times. I don't go awkward but I might go serious but very helpful lol. I admire people who can take the family out of the horror for even a moment with their wit. God Bless you mucker. All's good here. Not be long til I'm back in the UK. ;P

[Gee]

Get yer coat out.....take care

[Kelly Scheppers]

Most people have a hard time expressing their grief. When I lost my mother, I couldn't believe how detached both my younger and older brother seemed from it all...almost as though they couldn't allow themselves to break.

You've written this with a very observant eye, and compassionate heart. Beautiful lines throughout!

[Gee]

Thank you Kelly, I'm a right soft hearted sort.

[Ana Papaya]

Silly isn't it? I have experienced this and all the good intentions that were meaningless.
The important thing is just to visit, sit, listen, hug and just be there.

[Gee]

It is. I'm now an experienced hugger and easy to call upon dry shoulder. However, I do waffle......Thank you

[unfathomd]

One of the most beautiful poems ever. Soul touching :) something that we all can relate to. Amazing write. Yes we feel awkard talkimg to a widow bcoz v feel that our words might offend them as a result we try to empathize/sympathize with them ... But they aint lookin fr tht.. True words.

[Gee]

Cheers, I'll happily settle for it's an ok poem. Thanks for reviewing

[barleygirl]

You are so spot-on, that people need instructions on how to act around death. Your instructions are everyday common sense & yet also original, in that you're getting down to the crux of the matter with this advice. The opening/closing line speaks volumes . . . the only thing I would add . . . please don't tell me to "get over it" . . . & let me cry when I need to without urging me to stop. But we will still manage to be awkward about it . . . and thanks for letting us know we aren't alone in feeling this way.

[Gee]

Thank you Miss B