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Twelve Shoes

Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee
"

The last journey of a loved one

"
Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison,
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.



















© 2017 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

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Reviews

"...grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why" . Death, ever the mysterious stranger for the living, and ever naive on dying. So true!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you for visiting
Your Author's note answered my only question. Very well painted picture of the cerimony of grief.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers....
Very solemn indeed. And very eerie narrative of a funeral procession, at that. Well done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you...
Critique: (that echoed cold) coldly - The adjective "cold" is modifying "echoed" instead of a noun or pronoun.

Review: Interesting topic, it is not often I get to read something about pallbearers and I love reading something so creative and originally imaginative Standing Ovation! I give it five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Bear, change made...
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MCS
Well done, felt these words deeply

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers, appreciate the review
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Lou
Really moving poem beautifully written , love the twelve shoes analogy.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Lou, glad you enjoyed the read.
No, i don't think you should change the 2nd Stanza. It is 'dark' but then so is death! And it has a solemn but satisfactory end. and , yes indeed, 'why' ... perhaps the music in the oaken beams is all we need to know! Enjoyed your poem

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Aunty
beautiful. I almost cried remembering the last funeral I went to. You captured the air perfectly and the certain sense of sadness and helplessness, with dignity and respect. I liked this a lot.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you..
This writeup has a grace, free flow and a certain melancholy to it that is conveyed through each stanza beatifically :)
Thanks for sharing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reviewing
Oh wow this is touching .. I love it great work

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you...
Writing Angel

1 Year Ago

Thank you writing it

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Stats

2085 Views
53 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2017
Tags: Love, death, funeral, mourning

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Simple stuff scribbled badly....under no illusions as to my limitations. Not always politically :) more..

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