Twelve Shoes

Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee
"

The last journey of a loved one

"
Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison,
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.



















© 2017 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

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Reviews

A lot of symbolism, rites and rituals when we see off the death. You capture the solemnity well.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Philip
a part of society we wish to over look i guess,touching write

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers WM, appreciate the review
Very sad you've captured the feeling with somber but deeply vivid imagery. Nicely done Gee. R x

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Rach, appreciate you reading and commenting
The final curtain closing is always the worse at funerals, usually when the crying starts.
You portray it well.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thanks Paul
A beautiful portrayal of the sadness we have all felt, while taking that never ending procession of grief, with shoulder weighted, as well as heart and mind. Superbly captured Gee.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Nemo
very vivid imagery in this write, I enjoyed the wording.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers, appreciate the review
nice job! solemnity throughout ..i like the form and cadence ...i am terrible in the use of punctuation and the commas do their job as well as your end point at the last line of each verse ..but i would venture a guess some of the commas are not necessary or should be end points as well ...but i am not one to talk as i typically solve that problem by leaving all punctuation off ..coward that i am ;} this line is giving my trouble understanding "off seen it all stained glass," ...?? the perspective your poem takes from the angle of the shoes is creative ...original ...i love it ...i have buried too many family and friends ... one of my aunts passed yeas ago and i finally had to say no to bear her casket ...i had done it too many times ..my cousins all understood ... and thank the Lord i have not been asked since ... i like my spot in a back pew ... private with my own thoughts and grief ... love your poem ..it shows the respect we should all have when another human being passes over .. nice one!
E.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Year Ago

ahhhhhh the echos are bouncing off it ..i get it!! eureka!! ;)
Gee

1 Year Ago

LOL, have altered to hopefully make it a wee bit clearer
Einstein Noodle

1 Year Ago

:) .................
Images of carrying the casket came to mind with your solid imagery, lucky for me my family is more into urns! Must be the barbecue that does this!! Nice write cobber!

Posted 1 Year Ago


andrew mitchell

1 Year Ago

lol Cheers Gee . No not Fosters thats cheap plonk! Coopers pale ale!
Gee

1 Year Ago

I didn't realise you moved in such lofty circles, I will forthwith call you sir, and scrape and bow .. read more
andrew mitchell

11 Months Ago

Thank you Gordon Lightfeet!!

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1366 Views
48 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2017
Tags: Love, death, funeral, mourning

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton Keynes, United Kingdom



About
Simple words. If you want " clever " look elsewhere, if not, feel free to browse. more..

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