Shattered dreams on bloodied sheets

Shattered dreams on bloodied sheets

A Poem by Gee
"

Just another notch on the bedpost

"
She succumbed to perfected charm
from a honey coated tongue,
each lie to her a beautiful truth
by the louche, pitch perfect sung.

He knew another notch was carved,
the fourth glass of wine his knife,
a small room booked in a small hotel
where she'd dream of being his wife.

She gave the thing she most held dear
early mornings light brought shame,
her virginity lost to a would be Prince
him now a frog without a name.

Her shattered dreams and fairy tales
on the sheets in blood loud said,
" the frog he bought your innocence
with cheap words and cheaper red "








© 2018 Gee



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Featured Review

I'm not sure if the blood on the sheets comes from giving up her virginity, or if there is something more sinister going on in this small motel room!?!?! Either way, it makes for a spooky sparking of the reader's imagination. Your writing is well-done with good rhyme & rhythm & vivid metaphors. This makes for an intense warning about giving away any of our tender parts to some near-stranger in the night! I like the way this can be interpreted in a number of ways.

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Miss B



Reviews

Featuring this piece again I see; ‘twas enjoyable his repeat read as well.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Wow, just wow. this beautiful, albeit a little dark. I loved you word choice here, "the fourth glass of wine his knife." LOL, is it weird, that it's probably my favorite line? The audience is instantly washed over in images of red, and the glint, of a sharp, silver blade. I also love how it's third person, but the reader feels the female's pain acutely. Very well done.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you Nicole
heartfelt, sincere, metaphors rendered in excellence! bravo!

regards,
al

Posted 2 Months Ago


Gee

2 Months Ago

Thank you Al
This poem reminds me of Indie Rokkers by MGMT. Oh, the mistakes we make when we are naive and young.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Gee

4 Months Ago

Hmmmm, tell me about it. Cheers
This was really good, It had me hooked the whole way through the story.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Gee

4 Months Ago

Thank you..
This piece instantly hooked me!! Excellent writing and a cheap scene I know too well myself. I love the 4th glass of wine as his weapon. Brilliant!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Gee

4 Months Ago

Thank you..
the frog he bought your innocence
with cheap words and cheaper red "

Beware of frogs then :)

I like the way gave it the touch of fairy tale with a twisted end..:)

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you..
Haha, this is great. So fitting with the times also, often come across people who will say anything to get into your underwear. Luckily, I met a gentleman, but I did wonder a few times if this kind of scenario would play out with him! All your poems are really great, I admire your style :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


Gee

9 Months Ago

Got to say I was a nightmare in my youth !!!
Thank you, you're very kind.
You´re a great writer! To tell a story through a poem is really hard but you´ve done it.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

I muddle through. Thank you
A gripping tale told with a relatively fluid musicality and strong imagery to keep readers thinking..... trying to get to the heart of the meaning. Well done!

Posted 11 Months Ago


Gee

11 Months Ago

Thank you Emi

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1028 Views
32 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 6, 2017
Last Updated on February 23, 2018
Tags: Virginity, marriage, wine, shame

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Simple stuff scribbled badly....under no illusions as to my limitations more..

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