A Single Saxaphone.

A Single Saxaphone.

A Poem by Gee
"

Drinking to forget

"
Plays blue, a single saxophone,
plays heartache and despair,
to hang heavy in the gauloises fog
above the broken gathered there.
Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love or loves once knew.
Cold comfort sought, cold comfort found
in stupors arms, alone,
serenaded by suicidal thoughts
and a single saxophone........





















© 2017 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Hope this reads ok, any help improving appreciated

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Reviews

the pairing of the saxophone 'plays blue' and 'cold comfort' ... such compatible imagery
nothing else needs be said
thanks

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Thank you..
I've never been one to drink away my loss, but I get it. It's something you wish to drown, to forget it, but it will always rise to the surface again. I think poetry is a better balm for the hurts of the soul.

I really like the following lines:

Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love or loves once knew.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Thank you..
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BBP
I really dig this piece and it puts you in a blues bar youd want to drink in!!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Why thank you kindly
Rhapsody in Blue perhaps? So musically melancholy and evocative."serenaded by suicidal thoughts..and a single saxophone."-iconic line. Excellent poem.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Thanks Annette
'.. to hang heavy in the gauloises fog '

A black and white movie, figures hidden within swirling smoke, haunting music laden with saxaphone. Eyes meet for a fleeting second and an Englishman's voice begins to read a poem...

Can see and smell the scene.. Wonderful writing, don't alter a word, please.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Thanks Emma, will leave as is..
emmajoy

5 Months Ago

Minute or so later, can still see and inhale this poem. Proof enough?
You have caught the "atmosphere" so well in this poem. Gee. The mournful tone of the saxophone , the smoke laden air and the solitary thoughts of those who can no longer communicate . The only voice ,the solitary saxaphone, having the last word.
A Lautreque painting in words

Posted 5 Months Ago


Gee

5 Months Ago

Cheers Norman
This is superbly profound!! love the way it flows and the ending it brilliant! As much as I'm open-minded about poetic licenses, using them to rhyme is a bit of a cheat just so the poem could rhyme, and I can't help but call that out, given "of a love or loves once knew" should be "known".....unless "once" is changed to "they" or you make "love" somehow active rather than passive. Otherwise, well done!!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Thank you, will address your points once fully awake
I think you need that last line. The saxophone is the whole metaphorical point. This is a gentle sympathetic little poem about the many who drink to drown sorrows and also to drink away those little suicidal thoughts that must, from time to time, creep into anyone with a sensitive disposition, and a cruel life event. I bet that saxophone has saved many a soul! Very lovely poem.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Thank you. Yes, I think the last line is needed too....
Beautiful writing, very strong visuals. If you don't mind a constructive comment, I think you can loose the last line, no need to force to much structure on a poem like this, it's reads perfectly without it.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Thank you Alex
You have a clever wit to your writing that makes it interesting and very enjoyable to read. Sorrow and boozy nights with a sad saxophone playing out in smoke filled air. Incredibly descriptive and the mood is spot on. Great work Gee. A pleasure to read.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Cheers Duff
duff

6 Months Ago

Right back at ya:)

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Added on June 11, 2017
Last Updated on June 11, 2017
Tags: Loneliness.....

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom



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