A Single Saxophone

A Single Saxophone

A Poem by Gee
"

Drinking to forget

"
Plays blue, a single saxophone,
plays heartache and despair,
to hang heavy in the gauloises fog
above the broken gathered there.
Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love that they once knew.
Cold comfort sought, cold comfort found
in stupors arms, alone,
serenaded by suicidal thoughts
and a single saxophone........





















© 2018 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Hope this reads ok, any help improving appreciated

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Reviews

Exquisite scene setting - the cafe scene in Paris and the lost souls within hanging on the saxophone's every note. Yes, this is class.

I think the quatrain that starts with 'Who..." might be better served starting with 'They'. The preceeding full stop kinda dictates that I feel. Otherwise the quatrain in question should have a question mark because it started with 'Who...'.

You and me Gee, I think are experimenting with layout and pauses for effect. It's not easy to achieve. Some make it look easy (it flummoxes me everytime).

Hope this helps. ;)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Change made, cheers mate.
Can almost smell the scene you paint Gee. Gauloise paints it French, but this could be any bar in any city, with the solo sax accentuating the silence of being lost in yesterday... I know just how they feel :)
Superbly penned.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Nemo
oh wow, the sax... nothing makes you cry like some sad sax. gee, i'd be buying a vowel and swapping out if i were you. stellar write my friend.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thanks Ana. Hope you are well
Ana Papaya

1 Year Ago

i am, and i hope you are too
Gee

1 Year Ago

All is swell in the sunny UK, thank you.
Music and writing, combining arts is such a special gift and I loved the soft rhythm. Keep writing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you..
the pairing of the saxophone 'plays blue' and 'cold comfort' ... such compatible imagery
nothing else needs be said
thanks

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you..
I've never been one to drink away my loss, but I get it. It's something you wish to drown, to forget it, but it will always rise to the surface again. I think poetry is a better balm for the hurts of the soul.

I really like the following lines:

Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love or loves once knew.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you..
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BBP
I really dig this piece and it puts you in a blues bar youd want to drink in!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Why thank you kindly
Rhapsody in Blue perhaps? So musically melancholy and evocative."serenaded by suicidal thoughts..and a single saxophone."-iconic line. Excellent poem.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thanks Annette
'.. to hang heavy in the gauloises fog '

A black and white movie, figures hidden within swirling smoke, haunting music laden with saxaphone. Eyes meet for a fleeting second and an Englishman's voice begins to read a poem...

Can see and smell the scene.. Wonderful writing, don't alter a word, please.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thanks Emma, will leave as is..
emmajoy

1 Year Ago

Minute or so later, can still see and inhale this poem. Proof enough?
You have caught the "atmosphere" so well in this poem. Gee. The mournful tone of the saxophone , the smoke laden air and the solitary thoughts of those who can no longer communicate . The only voice ,the solitary saxaphone, having the last word.
A Lautreque painting in words

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Norman

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26 Reviews
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Added on June 11, 2017
Last Updated on June 25, 2018
Tags: Loneliness.....

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



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A man most happy when with his wife and child more..

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