A Single Saxophone

A Single Saxophone

A Poem by Gee
"

Drinking to forget

"
Plays blue, a single saxophone,
plays heartache and despair,
to hang heavy in the gauloises fog
above the broken gathered there.
Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love that they once knew.
Cold comfort sought, cold comfort found
in stupors arms, alone,
serenaded by suicidal thoughts
and a single saxophone........





















© 2018 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Hope this reads ok, any help improving appreciated

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Reviews

This is superbly profound!! love the way it flows and the ending it brilliant! As much as I'm open-minded about poetic licenses, using them to rhyme is a bit of a cheat just so the poem could rhyme, and I can't help but call that out, given "of a love or loves once knew" should be "known".....unless "once" is changed to "they" or you make "love" somehow active rather than passive. Otherwise, well done!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you, will address your points once fully awake
I think you need that last line. The saxophone is the whole metaphorical point. This is a gentle sympathetic little poem about the many who drink to drown sorrows and also to drink away those little suicidal thoughts that must, from time to time, creep into anyone with a sensitive disposition, and a cruel life event. I bet that saxophone has saved many a soul! Very lovely poem.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you. Yes, I think the last line is needed too....
Beautiful writing, very strong visuals. If you don't mind a constructive comment, I think you can loose the last line, no need to force to much structure on a poem like this, it's reads perfectly without it.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Alex
You have a clever wit to your writing that makes it interesting and very enjoyable to read. Sorrow and boozy nights with a sad saxophone playing out in smoke filled air. Incredibly descriptive and the mood is spot on. Great work Gee. A pleasure to read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Duff
duff

1 Year Ago

Right back at ya:)
Wow! This has such melody! A lovely descriptive piece I almost felt I was in that 'gin joint' watching the 'billy no mates' at the table in the corner. The tempo of this is so good as are the words chosen to provoke images and the final line is sublime.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thanks John, am chuffed with your review
Jazz in a Parisian bar. Yep! Just right once upon a time. The cabbage smell of Gauloise. Every body dressed in black. Everybody with funny little goatee's and no moustaches even the men.
Trauffaut sitting across from you chatting with Camus and eyeing up Simone De Beauvoir. I'm trying to catch the eye of Catherine Denuerve. Excellent stuff.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Ken. Might replace my words with yours

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Added on June 11, 2017
Last Updated on June 25, 2018
Tags: Loneliness.....

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
A man most happy when with his wife and child more..

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