Black Fire

Black Fire

A Poem by Emilia Cole

Burns and scarred flesh

Broken notes of forgotten songs

Listening and watching

Breathing and still

Running and walking

Stillness and death

The way to a place of peace is through a place of discreet violence there is no haven from hate only the comfort of love

© 2017 Emilia Cole



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I appreciate the storytelling going on in these lines. It takes a bit of close reading to find it, but it's in there. As for that last line (that I think is supposed to be two?) I don't think it is doing as much work, or at least the SAME work as the rest of the poem. I think all it is really there for is to sum up what the poem is saying. It is addressing the theme and subject of the piece directly, which you should leave up to the reader. Frankly, I would scratch the last line.

It may be interesting, considering the story you are telling is cyclical in nature, for you to try writing the poem as a Palindrome, so that it is sort of mirrored over the sixth line, in reverse.

Thanks for posting. Keep writing for as long as you have hands!

Posted 9 Months Ago


Indeed in innocence there is still belief. Often violent love gives the impression of true meaning but it is not,only mutual desire and the intimacy of unbridled passion will do.

Posted 9 Months Ago


I think this piece is overall effective and dramatic. Though I might consider constructing the last line differently.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

Thanks my phrases do need a bot of work
Lyn Anderson

9 Months Ago

Consider this -- and modify how you would see fit.
Is it only through discreet violence
.. read more
219335_One-Stop Publishing: free print & ebook publishing
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
lua
there is such a juxtaposition of all the themes you've included and this creates a really intriguing, dramatic piece

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

Thank you. lol only 14 and for some reason people like my crap poems but still thanks
lua

9 Months Ago

don't underestimate yourself :)
Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

Thanks so much for your review and understanding
Damn.
This is good.
Kinda speechless, great job!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

Thanks alot !
this reminds me of the way i write, it's short, simple, has a lot of antithetical lines, and is very existential, at least thats how i interpreted it, you may have intended it to be other things....you're a clever but also spiritually inclined writer

Posted 9 Months Ago


1nfinite_Justice

9 Months Ago

I try to do that also, but not very often lol. I try writing Haiku, or what I call "Haiku" ...nyway .. read more
Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

yay! welpppppppppp thanks so much
1nfinite_Justice

9 Months Ago

ur welcome ^^
A very dramatic piece. I guess I just don't quite understand the analogy. The line I do really love though, is the last one. There should be a space in between the two lasts lines, but nonetheless, the only haven from hate is indeed the comfort of love. That line captures something. Really does something for me.

Posted 9 Months Ago


2 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Passionate Embrace

9 Months Ago

Aha, I'm 15 myself :)
Emilia  Cole

9 Months Ago

lol for real
Passionate Embrace

9 Months Ago

Yes. I'm quite advanced in the art that is English :). Unfortunately, I can't say the same about m.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe

Advertise Here
Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Stats

279 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 4, 2017
Last Updated on January 4, 2017

Author

Emilia  Cole
Emilia Cole

Clayton,Watertown, NY



About
I am an aspiring writer but I am talented in Fiction,Fantasy. And poems 14 years of age more..

Writing
Hey Hey

A Poem by Emilia Cole


Mommy Mommy

A Poem by Emilia Cole


Tribute Tribute

A Poem by Emilia Cole



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..