Wild-child

Wild-child

A Poem by Relic



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Laura girl~Baby-girl~
you're only eight months old~
I hope this crib can hold you in,
You're acting too darn bold!

Laura girl~Child-girl~
what are you up to now?
That riotous mood you're showing off
ain't good for you no-how.

Laura girl~Teenage-girl~
tell me where you've been? 
Hiding out with troubled boys 
Will lead to years of sin. 

Laura girl~Troubled-girl~
no wonder you're in jail~
Ingesting all those harmful drugs 
Has left you sick and frail.

Laura girl~Tragic-girl~
the police were at our door~
That car crash robbed your precious life~
a beer was on the floor!

Laura girl~Silent-girl~
you look like you're asleep
your casket's shine reflects my face
and all I do is weep.

Laura girl~Angel girl~
we're sending you our love~
Our broken hearts can only pray
you're somewhere up above.

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© 2018 Relic



Author's Note

 Relic
Note to self: Poem was revised on 7/27/15.

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Reviews

My god, that is so beautiful. I can't see past my tears.

Sasha

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much.
I love the pacing of this poem. Not too quick, but nicely paced so that it doesn't drag along. Also, perhaps it is just me, the pacing has left me feeling uneasy and on edge.... suitable for a poem with a tragic topic such as this. What I like most of all is the span of the poem. Most poems tend to be brief or overlong. This one finds a nice medium in length, especially since it covers the entirety of Laura's life, however brief it was.
I get a feeling of despair, of pity, and of shame out of this. It is sad to see little Laura as a baby, then progress into something, well, ugly. The last three parts are heartbreaking, especially the second to last one, because whatever hope Laura (and the narrator, as well as the readers) had for her is snuffed out. From the ominous warning at the end of the second part to the beginning of the following piece, I wanted to jump in and shield Laura from whatever was coming, to try to set things right. Then, the spiral just suddenly and irreversibly dropped.
All in all, a very emotional and startling piece. However, I wanted to ask about the line: "We're sending you our love?" I am confused about the question mark. Was it intentional, a questioning statement, unsure if you are sending her your love or not?

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the insightful review. It's much appreciated. Despair, pity and shame are certain.. read more
Wow, I could say so much how this relates to many children growing up...now and in the past. A lot of the things we do as we grow is a happening of our surroundings and perception...somehow, without realizing the perception of the child, the parents and surrounding actions of other idles can pose a different response then something you would want... I wish everyone could look into their actions before they act... they're born wild...but the direction they took was skewed..however what ever path they've chosen in their life could have led a direction to save someone else from the same fate...or bring a moment of eureka upon another..

thanks for the thoughts,

Crysta


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Thanks for your insightful thoughts. Surroundings, influences, and personality types indeed all play.. read more
What heartache there is in watching the once beautiful and pure careen off into oblivion. How do you stop them? Sometimes all we do is not enough.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Like you Sam I take elements from my life's history and try to incorporate them into characters. Obs.. read more
It's easy to get overwhelmed in this world, esp. when some of us are more sensitive than others. Love this poem.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much for reading Beacon.
Some people seem born to destruction....there may be a place in Heaven with the other untamed angels...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

There's always the possibility. Thank again.
'Your tempestuous mood
Is wild enough'

i guess your destiny is determined from an early age. this is sad so very sad, sometimes love just isn't enough to save us. fantastic.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

It seems to me some are just born wild. Thanks for the review.
What a great write!...you have taken a girl's life from birth to death and expressed hopes for her to have a place above, with love. This is beautiful! Well penned!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


 Relic

6 Years Ago

Thank you Robbie very much.
Robbie~xoxo~

6 Years Ago

YW. :D

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1359 Views
38 Reviews
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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2012
Last Updated on September 19, 2018
Tags: Baby, teenage, adult, trouble
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 Relic
Relic

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Any poems I write that get no response get deleted. I can only assume they're no good and there's no use keeping them. more..

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