I'm Not A Writer

I'm Not A Writer

A Story by Relic
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Image result for uncomfortable man on a train cartoon


I am not a writer.

Mr. writer forgets to do his wash and gets eye strain from looking at his computer screen too long. 
The dog is confused--wondering why his master is writing down words from a home decor book and why it's more important than his 'beggin strips' or 'chopped blends.'

People in the ferry terminal think Mr. writer might be having a silent seizure from staring at the floor with a troubled look on his face for five minutes. (should we do something? who would we call?  :/ )
Women on the train think he's strange for fixating on their shoes. ("I'll bet he works at a shoe store Diane." "What? this is everyday Gina. No, he's a weirdo, I'm telling you.")

Co-workers see that facial expression again. The one that looks like he left the stove on at home.
His wife still wonders what he's looking for out the window. 
("nuthin honey, I'm just lookin."  :/ )

He's compelled to blurt out lines from Robert Frost poems while waiting in line for prescriptions but stops short and clears his throat instead. 

He stays in the bathroom too long. 

Besides staring at the wall, he jots down words in a little notebook while standing in front of trees, subways, firehouses, abandoned houses, run-down fences.......
and he always turns on his favorite TV show late because he can't decide whether to write "as' or "with" in a sentence.

Yes, a writer gets eye strain and all those other things. 

I am not a writer.


© 2017 Relic



Author's Note

Relic
Just an idea. Nothing more. There's a touch of humor here as well.

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Reviews

I think you describe here what people think artist looks like. So i can call myself writer cause you describe my day without you known me. I more thinking who is really writer , you get writers like Thomas Cleancy or Robert Ludllum who were very practical persons. What make writer really writer is his or her writing and also ability to create from small piece great art. We are not here writers we are here to play words and get attention . But we also mostly are friendly each other . That's more important then get published in New Yorker. Thank you for another piece to make me think, why I am really here.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Relic

2 Months Ago

Thanks for reading.
Le poetes chaos dans absinthe

2 Months Ago

Thanks for writing.
Writers, especially poets are often typecast as forlorn looking, long haired and bearded people with a pen and pad tucked under their arms, staring into space. Yet nowadays, one can't usually make them out from the regular crowd. A poem with a nice mix of humour and contemplation. Appreciated so much!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Relic

4 Months Ago

Thanks for liking it. :)
DIVYA

4 Months Ago

Indeed, such a pleasure to read :)
Ha Ha... fun... clever...

YES you are a writer
Just NOT obsessed !

Jazzy ............:)..................

Posted 5 Months Ago


Relic

5 Months Ago

lol, thanks Jazzy. :)
J. J.  Nightingale

5 Months Ago

You are welcome...............:)...................
sorry, Forgot the points-done!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Relic

5 Months Ago

.......................... :)
You Are A Writer my friend! Come clean- you know you are! Such an eloquent, clever, funny, humble poem....and you've caught all the signs, symptoms and eccentricities perfectly. Made me laugh out loud! Thanks, I needed that! Kudos!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Relic

5 Months Ago

Ha, You're welcome and thanks Annette.
you are definitely a writer...and those trees looking over your shoulder know it...they can see it even if your strained eyes cannot.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Relic

1 Year Ago

Thank you for saying that Jacob.
Much needed word smiles....
Thank you much fine sir

Posted 2 Years Ago


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dan
Relic, Well this will work perfectly because I'm not a reader. 8^) I know when you wrote this it might have seemed like a throwaway write to you, but this piece has a lot to say about the frustration and frailty we all feel when we sit down to write. "Hours of misery sparked by minutes of euphoria." Someone said that once to describe writing. That someone was me a minute ago. Very nice write! take care...dan

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

Well said Dan. Someone also said once that Dan has a good sense of humor and is a real good writer t.. read more
Liked this very much but the truth is that the person who fills the wastepaper basket with rejects is a writer looking for perfection. The best kind of writer I guess

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

More than likely, thanks for the review Suri.
Sounds like you're...a writer!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

I only wish. Thanks Marcus.

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Added on May 8, 2015
Last Updated on December 2, 2017


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