Your Perfect Eyes

I have nothing to say about this... to say anything would ruin it... gah, I've said too much!!

 

 

     My heart was a stone in my chest as I reached down to smooth a honey curl from her forehead. Molly's soft breathing, as she lay cradled in my lap with her feet pressed up against my thigh, contrasted starkly with the metronome of the ticking clock. Treacle sunshine streamed in though the glass of the window from where hover flies buzzed and the air was heady with honeysuckle. I stared up at the crowded mantelpiece and the twisted wax run-offs from your scented candles that pushed through huddled portraits marking other times. I watched as the light played across the pictures surfaces, cutting across our smiling faces. That old picture of us: me with that silly hairstyle and you in that awful hat; a treasured memory that you couldn't part with, no matter how daft. Molly at the reservoir, her nose freckled and her pink cheeks dimpled, the small gap between her teeth showing as she grinned. And, my favourite photograph of you, the one I took outside the caravan: you're smiling and your hair, dark as the earth, is tumbling down your shoulders. Your eyes are glimmering like wet polished jade. Your eyes. Your perfect eyes.

 

     They were the first things that drew me to you that hazy summer afternoon at University. I had seen you laughing with your boyfriend as an errant breeze pushed your hair across your face. You raised a hand to draw it away, unveiling them. It was then that you saw me, your smile still playing lightly across your lips, before turning away. Your skirt caught slightly in the breath of the wind and I saw your legs as you twisted to press the material against you. I caught your eye and you smiled again. I knew then that we had something special... a spark.

 

     The wedding came six months later. I stood staring giddily into your eyes, my pulse racing and my mouth parched. I remember your parents reactions, forced smiles poorly hiding disappointment. You were too young to marry; you would never achieve your doctorate. You were throwing your life away, all that you had worked for and for what? A musician. But you never gave up, you said that any situation was workable and you were right. You worked hard, you studied and you were giving, loyal and trusting. What man could ask for more?

     You were amazing. I used to call you amazing Grace and loved it when you laughed.

     Two years later you gave us Molly. I recall my sudden trepidation as you stood in the hallway that day, your hand at your mouth, your eyes shining. The white stick in your free hand held aloft, the pink stripe almost vibrant. A baby? I swept you into my arms and we both cried. You were so happy, I was terrified!

     Again you showed me that anything was possible.

 

     I curled one of Molly's locks around my index finger and pressed my lips to her crown, she was sleepy for it had been a long day. A single tear squeezed itself out from under her lashes and tracked down her cheek. I brushed it aside softly and sighed. Beneath those lashes she had your eyes, flawless but for faint copper flecks that glistened as she drifted in the worlds between sleep and wakefulness. I stared again to your eyes on the mantel still marvelling in their sea green lustre.

 

     Your perfect eyes.

 

     That's why I had to take them. I watch them now as they float in the formaldehyde jar between the photos, your perfect eyes. I'm so sorry I ruptured one as I took it out but my hands were shaking.

     You have to understand Grace, it all but killed me when you married him; my f*****g brother. And me, appointed his best man; a vulgar euphemism for second place.

     Molly is awake now. I think she is still frightened by her mummy. Yawning blood-black holes seeing everything but nothing and her mouth stretched into a silent scream. You werent so quiet an hour ago.

     I smooth Molly's hair again and turn her towards me, away from mummy's scary eyes. Shhh sweetheart, I whisper as the steel tip of the screwdriver grazes the softness of her pink cheek.

 

     Her perfect eyes, I just cant bear her perfect eyes.

 

 

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Author's Note

This bears no resembelence to any girls whose eyes I may have gouged out due to requited love... ;-)

Reviews

[A. Dade]

God WTF I thought this was some sort of beautiful tribute to a woman who you were madly in love with.. I was oooing and aaahhhing and silently falling in love with the narrator of this story...

Then I got gobsmacked...

You should go to contests and find the one about stories that "punch the reader" at the end. ;) Good job.

[TaurusKay]

Loved this! It was so sweet and loving in the beginning but then BAM! it turned dark and chilling. I really wanted to read more!

[Tegon Maus]

Yikes !!!! I take that back... WTF YIKES !!! No screwdrivers for you young man!

[Calypso]

Wow, nice. In the beginning you could tell my the voice of the narrator that he's insane.

[Jessie]

Uh...WOW!!!!!!!!!! That was so freaking AWESOME!!!! Can you SEE how AWESOME I think it is by all the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My f*****g GOD!!!!

Whew....that much excitement just takes it all outta ya.

[Pj]

That was so SCARY! I can't put it any other way than to say...I'm wetting my pants! Frig! What a great twist, what a great story of love and hate and pain...The pictures were great and really did aid the story.
Wow!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

The combination of the title and a familiarity with your writing style gave you away. The story was really quite entertaining and up to your normal standards (my only complaint was that it came a bit quickly.)

I don't know if you are extremely attached to the title or not, but a title change might prevent the twist being visible too far from the end. Perhaps, much as you noted with my entry, I was just looking for a twist because it was part of the contest.

[Jamie Fantasy]

I won't comment on the subject becuase it's not really my thing but I think it was well written. I did notice in the beginning that you switched from "she" to "your" so you may want to go back and fix that.

Other than that, great job!

[J. Hampton]

This is superbly shocking...you have gruesome imagery control...but don't rely soley on it.
nice twist...
sinister...a lil' glitch in tense switch but this has my vote !

Blessssssssss

Great story! I didn't see that coming. I had a feeling it was love from afar as a twist (just because of the contest ) and maybe he was a serial stalker of something but had NO idea it would end like that! Scary stuff! Great sotry! I'd love to see more!

[Nicole Renee]

Woah, I didn't expect the guy to kill anybody because of eyes....It reminds me one of Poe's stories; the one where the man kills the old man because of his one eye that bugged him so much. When I read that part about the eyes, I was like,"Oh my gosh!" But great story, though.